A Fish and Her Bicycle

The Catharsis of Religion

2011-09-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

I believe that radical fundamentalism really only appeals to certain people, as mentioned in the previous post. One of these groups is those with mental illness or learned personality disorders. A common example I've seen is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here is an article that sums it up easily, for those needing clarification. Some of the hallmark symptoms include an exaggerated view of their own intelligence and looks, a very high sense of their own importance, even when the corresponding contributions and accomplishments aren't there, a propensity to be a pathological liar, especially when revising an event to make themselves seem superior and errors belonging to others, blaming others for any mistake associated with themselves, sense of entitlement, arrogance, a sense of being superior than others, exaggerating academic (and other) achievements and inflating accomplishments, justifying their lack of relationships by assuming people either are envious of them, feel like a failure compared to them, or are just not on their level of looks, intelligence, etc..., and, what I feel to be one of the key elements, a complete lack of empathy. I believe this is key, because this inability to sense people's feelings makes them unable to sense the disgust and revulsion of people around them. They can be surrounded by people who are intensely annoyed or put off by them and truly believe that everyone enjoys their presence. Conversations are especially frustrating, since they tend to tell the same stories over and over, using the same anecdotes of usually fictitious events to make the same points endlessly. They are always the heroes of the stories, while everyone else is failing in some capacity. They have an addiction to affirmation, which is ironic since they are harshly and vocally critical of others. Because they crave constant flattery, they brag about even the smallest accomplishments, usually inflating the difficulties to such an extent that mundane household chores seem to be massive achievements. Everything suddenly has an elaborate back story, and they are the conquering heroes. The lack of empathy also makes them tactless and harsh in their criticism, but inversely they will go into tantrums at the slightest feeling of being reprimanded. They jealously guard their superiority in any capacity, and feel the need to "one up" anyone else getting attention. If someone is ill, they have been more ill, for example. If someone is praised for an accomplishment, they hasten to point out where they performed even better. Again, most of the events they fall back on are exaggerations at best, outright fabrications at worst. They are greedy and tend to hoard items, and because of their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy they have no problems rationalizing stealing something they believe they "deserve" or is "rightfully theirs." Because of this behavior, they are extremely suspicious of others. They assume everyone else wants what they have, since they assume others envy them. If it is pointed out that they have few (if any) meaningful relationships, they assume it is because of their superiority that others are intimidated by them. If the lack of human contact causes their flattery well to dry up, they turn to virtual achievements to reinstate their feelings of dominance. (Social networks like Facebook feed this beautifully.) They do not differentiate a lasting impact on someone's life between a high score in a game. Both equally feed their inflated egos and give them that affirmation fix they crave.

Dealing with a narcissist is exhausting, since they are relentless in their need to stay superior in every capacity and boundless in their snide criticism. Spouses and children suffer the most, since the emotional starvation they suffer with never being shown affection, empathy or compassion, coupled with the verbal (and sometimes physical) abuse, added to the constant demands for praise and affirmation and sense of entitlement coupled with laziness, leaves them beyond drained. Even as their needs are neglected, they must cater to the narcissist or risk the abusive consequences.

Many who read this can relate, having had to deal with someone who fits this profile. Sadly, one place the narcissist finds cathartic is religious fundamentalism. Fundamentalism itself fits the description of a narcissist in many ways, notably the grandiose sense of self-importance, inflated views of achievements and impact, greed for wealth and power, rampant racism, lack of compassion and empathy, and a detached sense of reality that they justify through belief that they are inhabiting a "higher plane" than the rest of us. The leaders tell the same stories over and over, with their spiritual prowess always triumphing over the "evil" person. (The irony is, they especially love to brag about taking on one of the "cults" like the "JW's" or Mormons. Nothing excites a fundamentalist more than being able to tell off a fellow cultist.) They promote racial supremacy, even claiming it is spiritually justified. If there is no evil person to triumph over, they create one. I have heard more preachers rail about what the would say and do to "the guy" who tries to take their guns, their kids, or their KJV Bible... when in fact, nobody cares. They justify the most heinous treatment of people because of the combination of a lack of empathy and the need to assert the superiority of their beliefs. This overrides the natural humanity of the average non-abusive person. This is why the churches embracing this mentality "eat their own" as it were, if someone slips into sin or even worse, tries to pull away from their control.
If you find yourself trapped in these abusive relationships, more than likely you will be drawn to these types of churches. The tragedy is, even as these cults attract those with NPD and provide them with the catharsis of a spiritual mandate for their behavior, they also attract those from abusive and dysfunctional situations. These victims were never allowed to think for themselves, always reacting to their environment instead of being able to control or change their situation. They see these church "families" as filling all the voids from their troubled pasts, and shutting out the world helps them shut out their pain. They don't see it as denying reality, they really think they are just avoiding sin. To them, an environment where strong, powerful leadership is unquestioned and a positive, safe outcome is (falsely) guaranteed seems like the safe haven they've searched for their whole life. In fact, it's just locking the fox in the hen house.

The Delusion of Control

2011-06-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

After all we have been through the last couple years, I have truly come to see the appeal of the illusion of control. I could not understand why people would cling ferociously to the teachings of their church, against all logic, evidence, even common sense, even as they saw their family falling apart around them, until I realized that they are trying to grasp the reins on this runaway stagecoach that is our lives. When you are told that following a narrow set of guidelines gives a guaranteed outcome, especially as a parent, this appeals to everything inside of us that craves control. You are told you are submitting, letting go, denying yourself, but in fact you are really telling God he owes you one. If I keep up my end of the bargain, God is required to deliver. I remember a woman who suffered from depression, who, upon having a bad day began tearing her house apart looking for the "sin" that was summoning the demons oppressing her. She dug out a box of old Motown records, and gratefully destroyed them. It was easier for her to believe that dusty, never-played records were causing her troubles, because she could destroy them. She could be in control of that. Another mother whose daughter was slipping away from her ran to her room and threw out all the girl's jeans, believing they were somehow causing her daughter's issues. They had both bought into the lie that everything bad that happens is because of sin, so if you are struggling, it's the Devil. Period. (Never mind Job, I guess.) I have seen people who could never face up to the fact that sometimes, LIFE IS HARD. Teenagers are moody and difficult to understand. Good people get sick and die. Hard-working men lose their jobs. It happens. You can't control it. We are beyond narcissistic when we want to take both blame and credit for everything. God does not care if you read a New King James Bible, wear blue jeans, listen to music with (GASP) a beat to it or not. I saw enough sexual deviants within these circles to assure me that focusing on the minutia is either a sign of delusion or deliberate deception. Who cares if your daughter wears blue jeans if your son is a child molester? Where is the balance? Where are the sensible priorities? Where is the common sense? Not in any of the truly fundamentalist churches. Now, I have seen certain groups of people thrive in these environments: emotionally scarred (usually from a difficult or "colorful" past), Kennedy Syndrome sufferers (large extended families of fundies, usually in the ministry, who form Kennedy-like dynasties), narcissists, and people of below-average intelligence. People will be quick to point out exceptions, those naturally sweet-tempered people you find in any religion that they hold up as the ideal, but you don't make a rule based on the exception. Overall, these are the groups who thrive either being completely in control, or in blindly following someone else completely in control. They are both delusional. Do you really think all your troubles are because your wife wore blue jeans? You really think with the true pain and suffering going on the world, the unspeakable horrors people suffer in our ghettos, in other cultures, in the nearest city alley, that God cares about your church's pet standard? I am picking on blue jeans, but the concept is the same no matter what the trivial hang-up. Life did not come with an instructional manual. The Bible teaches you how to survive the ride and make the most of our brief sojourn here. It turns what could be a momentary blip on a radar into a life that matters and leaves a lasting impact on the world when we go. By no means, however, is it a recipe book that gives you some kind of magic code to produce the outcome you want. (Pardon the mixed metaphor.) Not to mention, as much as they scream about the Bible, most of these pet standards aren't even in the Bible, or are misapplied Jewish guidelines. If you are still trapped in the fear and control of these circles, with everything inside of you screaming to escape, just let go. Get out and live your life. Don't let the fear cause your life to spiral into a self-fulfilled prophesy. Too many escape, only to let the paranoia that is brainwashed in control them and drive them to a life of pain and confusion, not knowing what standards mattered and which did not since they are presented with equal importance. I know people who left these churches, lived in gross immoral sins, devastated their families, destroyed their health with drugs, but still think the KJV is the only Bible and that Santa Claus is Satan trying to undermine God. It's a good thing they got their priorities right! I mean, who needs an intact, functional family as long as there's no mention of Santa, right? Give me a break. Calmly, think it through. Study your Bible with an open mind. Talk with your spouse about your concerns. Make the decision that will best keep your family close to each other and emotionally healthy and happy. Do what is best for your family unit, not what makes you look like a Super Spiritual Christian. Yes, it's humbling finding out you weren't really on some inside track to God's favor. More likely, you were an arrogant blowhard that did more harm to the cause of Christianity than any political agenda.
I guess the best way to summarize my point is this; If you realize that there is something wrong, and you want to make a change to better your family, use your God-given common sense. It is hard, since at first, everything that goes wrong you will blame on your "rebellious" heart. Or, you will miss the pride and affirmation that comes from living a life that stroked your ego and drove your family apart. In time, though, you find a peace in accepting that living in that kind of an environment does more harm than good, to individuals as well as to family units. Don't stay in it, even when you know it's wrong, for fear of losing your kids. (You're more likely to lose your kids when you negate your credibility with them by following this nonsense.) They do not have the answers, they cannot guarantee the outcomes, for good or for bad. This is a tragic lie too many have bought into, and a lie too many cannot let go of, even as they see it being debunked time after time as entire generations are lost to Christianity thanks to the damage of radical fundamentalism.

Have we no class?

2008-08-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

I am prepared for the big, collective eye-rolling at this post, but I am going to say it anyway. The joking in Tropic Thunder about mentally disabled people is only funny to those who have absolutely no class. I understand that in movies nothing is sacred, and there are movies a lot worse and more cruel. Still, when a movie attacks a particular group, that group has the right to defend themselves, to protest, to boycott. So when a movie attacks a group that cannot defend themselves, it is left up to the few people in this country that still have a little class and dignity to defend them. Yes, they have a right to make this movie, and it's just a little exchange between characters, but we have a right to point out that those who find abuse of true innocents funny inhabit a region of humanity lower than any other. To me, this is akin to a scene in a movie about child abuse where the abuser is considered hilarious and everyone laughs at the beaten child. Why don't they include a scene like that? Because it's not funny, it's sick. It takes a depraved level of desensitization, insensitivity and cruelty to think this is funny. Ironically, although some are born with these kinds of disabilities that you may find so hilarious, keep in mind you are one car crash, brain aneurysm, or, in the case of those who like this kind of drivel, one drug overdose from finding yourself in their shoes. Would it be so funny if it was you, or someone you loved? Would you want people pointing and laughing at you, your child, your friend, quoting lines from a movie glorifying this base behavior of mocking the disabled? Please read this article by Timothy Shriver at the Washington Post to read the exchange I am talking about.

On a side note, when Dreamworks was preparing for Robert Downey Jr. to play a black man for this movie, they carefully tiptoed around the issue, even bringing in focus groups to make sure nothing was offensive to black people. I suppose they assume the disabled don't deserve this kind of respect.

Overall, they claim the movie is a stab at the whole political correctness overload and also making fun of the sleazy Hollywood set. I certainly have no problem with those premises, but making fun of an ego-driven washed-up actor is not on the same level as mocking the disabled. I think that's where they cross the line.

Hat tip: Thanks, Kara, for sharing this, and also Megan for posting about this as well! (I just found your post, Megan - I guess we both had the same reaction!)

When Love Takes You In

2008-07-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

A beautiful, moving music video about adoption

Supreme Court gets it right!

2008-06-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

Supreme Court upholds individuals right to own guns.

Unimaginable Grief

2008-06-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

Many of you know I am a fan of the group Selah, although I only followed them until the sister (Nicol) left the group in 2004. I was browsing some music/news about them, and read that Nicol had lost a baby to SIDS only weeks ago. This is only 7 weeks after her brother lost a newborn child as well! If you follow the link, you can follow these stories on their blog. I cannot imagine the grief this family is going through, and since they have been such a spiritual inspiration to me, I wanted to share their story so you could pray for them as well. I know we don't know them personally, but we like to follow the mundane gossip of the latest celebrity that means absolutely nothing to anybody. So I think it is only appropriate that when someone is hurting that has given so much of their life trying to serve the Lord and actually make a meaningful contribution to humanity, we should take a moment out to say a prayer for them. Then take another moment to realize how fragile and sacred life is while we hug our own babies extra long tonight.

Changing attitudes toward race?

2008-06-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

I loved this article (Thanks to my MIL for saving it for me) and wanted to share it with you! I even posted it on my Facebook mini-feed, so if you read it there... it's the same article.

Rachel Lerman is the embodiment of melting-pot citizenry: Born in 1967 in Boston to a blonde, blue-eyed, Roman Catholic white woman and a black man from Nigeria, she was placed in foster care and shortly thereafter adopted by a white couple and raised Jewish.

This issue hits close to home with us, since we have adopted trans-racially (our daughter is Colombian and Mayan), and my sister is black. Okay, just kidding, she's not black, but her fiance is Caribbean and Portuguese. So yes, he's black. (Technically, dark brown, but you get the point.) And please stop with the "African-American" business. It is ridiculous to assume that all blacks are African, just as it is wrong to assume all whites are European. (I happen to half Caucasian, half of Mediterranean descent. It gets even muddier - the half Medit is actually Maltese, which is part Italian... so now I'm totally confused!!) We have had lots of discussions on interracial families, and what we find most fascinating is the difference in views between generations. Basically, the older you are, the harder it is to accept our multiracial society. Each generation seems to be a little more accepting, and although there are always exceptions and those just too steeped in ignorance and bitterness to let go of their racism, overall I think we are making progress. A lot of issues depends on individual confidence. A black person raised to be suspicious and bitter towards white people will interpret everything as "You're just doing that because I'm black." A multiracial child who is taught to be ashamed of one aspect of their heritage will shy away from it and struggle with identity issues. But we notice that people who are secure in who they are, or in the relationships they're in, can just shrug it off. Every once in a while it gets annoying, but overall you just roll your eyes.

I think it is important in racial issues (as with all areas of your life) to find BALANCE. I don't believe in complete assimilation of immigrants. Be proud of your heritage, keep your language, make your food, observe your holidays... BUT show us the same respect you want shown to you. Be proud of our heritage, our traditions, and learn our language as well. (I left out the food part, since I'm not a huge fan of American food. Hot dogs gag me and apple pie will send you to an early grave.) I think celebrating a separate culture is something done within your family and peer group, not something you force on your host country. I love experiencing other cultures, but I do get offended when they refuse to acknowledge mine. (Especially when they are living here.) NO, I don't expect complete assimilation, but I do expect respect. I love when my family does something specifically related to our heritage(s), but you won't see my immigrant grandparents with picket signs demanding they sing the national anthem in Maltese. We teach our daughter all about Colombia, but we also make her proud to be American. After all, that is what unites our family - we are Christians, and we are Americans.

So, what are you doing to improve the attitudes toward our multiracial society in your own family? How do you react to families of mixed heritage? Do you see them as impure mongrels or simply melting pot American? Do you still feel that staying racially pure is a moral issue, as believed for centuries? If you are a Christian, do you think your identity should be faith first, race(s) second, since the New Testament effectively lifted the race barriers? Come on, don't be shy! Let's have a discussion.

Just to clarify

2008-06-10T10:56:00.000-07:00

I know I mentioned previously that I had been enjoying Molly's blog (Adventures in Mercy), and I know several of you mentioned to me that you had been reading it at my recommendation. While Molly has a witty and engaging writing style and we shared much of the same awakening experience, I just want to clarify that where we ended up are two very different places. This is in NO WAY disparaging Molly or her beliefs. I just want my readers to know that her beliefs are in no way a reflection of my own. (In fact, rather than take offense, she would also probably want to clarify that she does not believe like I do!!) Life is a long journey, and although you may meet people along the way that are stumbling or having the same struggles you do, that does not mean you will arrive at the same destination. Molly and I have arrived at very different places, andn I don't want to give a faulty impression of my own spiritual journey. Again, this is not to disparage those who I do not agree with, only to clarify that their beliefs and conclusions about Christianity are not my own. You know, that standard disclaimer most people have on their blogs! I love blogs that make you think and provoke you to do research. Molly's definitely does that!

Compensation Theology

2008-05-29T13:13:00.001-07:00

I have really gotten a kick lately out of what I call "compensation theology." It's hard to explain, but I'll do my best. People will adopt this weird, extreme standard or conviction, and in doing so they feel they are spiritual enough justify sins in other areas of their life. For example, they will rant about a woman wearing blue jeans, and claim you're not even saved if you don't show up for Sunday School. However, then they get into their car and blare this crazy rock music or take the Lord's name in vain every other sentence. Huh?!?!? This confuses me. I am not saying that we all don't have different convictions, or that we should nit-pick people trying to do right and watch for them to slip up. We do, and in fact, we should, have different standards. I am simply talking about those people who go to the extreme, claiming some special inside-track to God. I know a guy from a former church who really thinks he has this special gift from God. He has prophetic visions, is a powerful public speaker, has had more para-normal experiences than an entire season of X-files, but at the end of the day is one of the most arrogant jerks you'll ever meet. He rails against women wearing pants, but you go to his home and his teen aged sons are drooling over chics gyrating around in very decent (yeah, right) costumes on American Idol. Am I condemning him for watching American Idol? I couldn't care less. (In fact, I even watched two seasons of it, until the talent dried up and it was just too boring to endure.) I am simply pointing out that he feels he is above rest of us, so those things are okay for him to do. He even claims that if you do not wish to attend Sunday School, you can't possibly be saved... but good luck finding him in church on Sunday night, let alone Wednesday night. Again, huh?!?! Before you give me a lecture on being judgmental of this guy, let me get to my point. No one takes this guy seriously because of the fact he is so proud of the few convictions he does have and likes to lord them over others. Any influence he could have had, he throws away because he practices compensation theology. As long as he adheres to a few really extreme convictions, he considers himself holy enough to allow himself the other indulgences. Be very, very careful before you announce to others what God's priorities are. Be very, very careful before you declare that your set of standards puts you in better standing with God than someone else's. What may cause you to sin may not even be an issue for someone else, and a good hearty dose of humility is what most of us need. I call it the "spiritual glass ceiling" when a person or church gives their list of add-ons. If you don't adopt their standards in addition to what is clearly defined in Scripture, you are never taken seriously spiritually at best, and branded a rebel and shunned at worst. Unfortunately, while they are obsessing about these issues that are not even Heaven or Hell issues, they often can't see the forest for the trees. They miss the truly damaging sins in their midst, because they are so distracted by focusing on the nonsense. But if you were to warn them about the issues that are truly threatening their families and children, they look at you blankly. They are far too holy to even consider that happening. Sorry, but the longest skirts on your gals and the smoothest shaved faces on the guys won't compensate for a humble heart tender to God's leading... and it won't produce it in your children either.

Digging Ditches

2008-05-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned Jean Fleming's A Mother's Heart, and I really wanted to share one of my favorite chapters, or at least an excerpt. I will italicize what I take directly from the book.

This chapter is called "God's Part, My Part." First of all, unless God labors with you, your labors are in vain. We cannot do anything of spiritual or eternal value in the lives of our children. Oh, we can read all the parenting books, go to all the seminars, develop relationships with them, worry about them, pray for them, closely monitor their actions... and have them rebel against it all. You can take a child to church, but you can't make him worship. You can require Bible reading, but you can't make him enjoy it or learn from it. You can live a godly example, but he is not required to follow it. The best possible parenting cannot produce spiritual children any more than witnessing to others can make them Christians. This does not minimize our responsibilities, it simply requires us to acknowledge that our faith, by its very nature, must be embraced by one's own free will. You can beat a child to keep him from sinning, but then he will cease from sinning only to avoid a beating. When the danger of a beating is passed, the sinning will resume in earnest. There has to be a deeper and personal work done in the child's heart, and this is not something that can be beat into anyone. (If it could be, then the militant Muslims actually have it right. Why stop with our children? Why don't we just threaten everyone with physical pain and beat them into Christ's kingdom? But I digress...) Our very best mothering, done in faith, is our part. The rest is up to God working in the child's heart, coupled with the child's free will and ability to choose whether or not he will embrace the faith of his parents. Force it on them, and they will shake it off the first chance they get. Let them choose it on their own, and they will cling to it even when the threat of your punishment is past.

The author beautifully illustrates this concept with the story of King Joram of Israel in II Kings 3. He was leading his army against King Mesha of Moab, but after days of marching through the desert they faced a fatal problem - they had no water. They cried out for the man of God to give them guidance, and Elisha responded for them to "Make this valley full of ditches." Joram's men were given a back-breaking, thankless, unbelievably difficult job - digging ditches in the middle of the desert. This was their part, unromantic as it was, but they became part of a miracle. In the morning, the ditches were full of life-giving water. The army was refreshed, and their enemy was defeated. Mothering is the same concept. We can dig the ditches, but we cannot fill them with water. We can teach our children about God, live the Christian life before them, pray for them, and surround them with those who love and serve God. But only God can bring them spiritual life. God doesn't need our help, but He...invites us to co-labor with Him.

Again, this is not to minimize our responsibilities as parents, or to say that we have no blame if our own sinful lives drive our children away from Christ. I am simply warning against those who believe that a personal relationship with God and a deep and abiding faith in the authority of His Word can be produced in a child simply by "breaking their will." Break a child, and you end up with a broken child. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Car Sharing?!?!

2008-05-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

I just heard about this company, and I think this is just the coolest idea!!!! They actually have cars stationed at certain places, and you reserve what you need on-line. The selection varies, but you can reserve anything from a pickup truck to a BMW. You pay by the hour or by the day. Ideally, the car is walking distance for you, so you can combine the exercise benefits of walking with saving ga$ money (or the price of a second car payment, insurance and registration). I doubt we have one by us, but I hope so. Check them out: Flexcars (Now Zipcars)

Great Read!

2008-05-16T12:42:00.001-07:00

I have read stacks of parenting books, but A Mother's Heart by Jean Fleming is hands-down one of my favorites. I don't have time to elaborate much on it now, but I have read it twice (am working on my third) and I get so much out of it every time.

One of the things I like the best is her view that children do not come to you as a empty vessel to fill, or as a rebellious tyrant to be "broken." Rather, she sees the child at conception as a unique person, already, essentially, "who they are." The parent is there to guide, to train, to instill character, but all the while knowing that you cannot change who this child is. So many parents' heartbreak and disappointment in the "failures" of their children is merely the failure of their projected ambitions. They looked at their children as a second chance for themselves, a chance to "get it right," especially if they came from a non-Christian background. They raise their child with the faulty logic that, "If only I had had _______, I would have ______/would not have______." Unfortunately, your child is a different person with a different environment, so what may have influenced you to do one thing may either have no effect on them or cause them to do something entirely different. Children are not baked goods produced when a specific recipe is followed, and they are not your second chance at living. Your immortality is only found in your own identity as a child of Christ, not in creating a clone of yourself (or what you wish you had been) in your child.

On a lighter (and somewhat sicker) note...

2008-05-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, all of this deep thinking and probing introspection is tiring. So, I am taking a break with some mean-spirited frivolity to tick off the few people I haven't managed to offend yet.

The California Supreme Court overturned the ban on same-sex marriage (HT: Ben in his Red Shirt), but sadly this news came too late for some couples, such as the one pictured below. Although deeply in love with each other almost as much as with themselves, they find themselves already trapped in the bitter bondage of heterosexual monogamy. If only they were still single and lived in California now. *sigh* Oh, but what might have been...

Oh wait, wasn't it already legal in Massachusetts?!!? Didn't Kerry know this? Oh wait, he was already married. Life, however fabulous Edward's hair may be, just is not fair.

The Horrors of Hephzibah House

2008-05-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

I at one time attended a church that supported this "rehab program," and I would call on anyone who still does to please do your research! My husband and I sat on the Mission Committee for a short time, and Hephzibah House received one of the largest monthly allotments, even though the same church dropped other missionaries for not being through an approved Mission Board. The home is run by Ron and Patti Williams in Indiana, who answer to no one but themselves. (I think this in itself makes it unwise for other churches to support their work.) If you are supporting this ministry, or even worse, thinking of sending your daughter to Hephzibah House in Indiana, please read this post (Adventures in Mercy) in its entirety. Especially disturbing was the link to Ron Williams views on child abuse thinly disguised as "discipline." I am just shocked this place hasn't been closed down!

Here are some of the links I found with information on this place. Ugh.

Former Hephzibah Girls

The Truth About Hephzibah House

Survivor Stories

Exposing Hephzibah House

This is a link to the article I mentioned, where Ron Williams explains how to "beat" an infant.

A Semi-Recovered Fundamentalist

2008-05-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

I have really been enjoying a new blog I came across, adventures in mercy. I find a lot of what this author is going through really resonates with my own experiences. I don't share all of her beliefs, but that's the idea! To be free to question, to believe differently, to have different priorities... she embraces these qualities in herself and her readers.

I have been meaning to post for some time on my recent spiritual developments, but lack of time has been the biggest hindrance. I will try to scratch the surface, but I could honestly write a whole book!

I guess I consider myself a semi-recovered fundamentalist. I used to say "recovered" or "recovering," but the more I read, I realized I still am pretty fundamentalist in a lot of my views. What has changed the most drastically is the priority I put on my beliefs, as I try to more closely align myself to what the Bible says as opposed to what man adds to it.

An interesting turning point for me was my study on Pharisees, beginning in Matthew 23. Being raised by pulpit-pounding, hellfire, brimstone, aisle-running, sweating and spitting Baptist preachers, I took this teaching style as the norm. This was just the way it should be. Anything less, and you were a wimp. A liberal. A spineless sinner that just couldn't hack it with the real Christians. Unfortunately, the more I studied Pharisees, the more I saw some frightening similarities to way I had been raised, and the way I was living my life. I say "frightening" because this was the only group Jesus ever verbally and physically attacked! Hmmm... That can't be good. Now, we had been taught that verses like Galatians 5:1 were simply verses that liberal Christians used to justify their sinful behavior. If someone quoted Galatians 5:1 to me, I would retort back with Galatians 5:13 and I Peter 2:16 and feel quite smug. After all, that's the only reason you would seek liberty, right? In order to SIN. (And you had to say "SIN" with a sneering, scary voice to get the full effect.) Sad to say, I saw enough churches and Christians that did just that. They went to church simply to have the best of both worlds, but there was no attempts to pursue holiness or righteousness in their lives. They could live like the devil all week and go to church Sunday with the same crowd they partied with. Their relationship with God was so shallow, fleshly and self-serving, that they seemed to corroborate my views of Christian liberty by all of the wickedness in their lives. (And don't say I was just being judgmental, because, well, although I was, I am not talking about "gray areas" here but some really icky stuff.) So I threw myself with a passion into pursuing holiness through legalism. I crossed my t's, dotted my i's, wore the uniform, sang the songs, etc. I joke now that I "never met a standard I didn't like" during that phase, which lasted until after I got married. I was doing everything by the rules, but something still ate at me. Something (or Someone?) kept whispering to me that maybe there was a middle ground. Maybe there was a balance. Maybe I had been wrong.

Although it percolated for a few years, and my husband and I gradually began making changes, things really reached a breaking point when our girls came along. Two girls in two years, and our lives turned upside-down. It was time to take a step back, and start over from a spiritual perspective. So many things that my husband and I had been tolerating suddenly became a very big deal. We might be able to ignore the fact that the majority of our church prioritized such beliefs as "you couldn't possibly be right with God and wear blue jeans" over issues that really mattered. We might be able to withstand not being taken seriously spiritually because we didn't belive in whiting our sepulchres with the same whitewash most of them used. BUT, what would it do to our daughters? What kind of stumblingblock would we be placing in their way if we continued to keep all these superficial rules? How seriously would they take our authority when they realized we were branded as rebels? How could we tell them, "The church says this, but they're wrong" about one thing, and not expect them to wonder why they should acknowledge any of it? We realized we had to break free of the authoritarian model we had both been raised in. My first instinctual thought was, "I am a failure as a Christian. I am rebelling and can't submit to my God-given authority (meaning the pastor). I just can't hack being a Christian, so rather than grow up and do something for God, I'm going to wimp out, become a liberal, lose my kids and have no effectiveness for the Lord." A very depressing thought, let me tell you. I spent so long crying, trying to submit, begging God to just convict me and my husband of this long list of things we should be doing. But the more I cried, fasted, prayed and studied my Bible, the more I understood God's silence. This was not the path He had chosen for us. Now, again, I could write a book on all of the things He began to reveal to us, but I'll try to sum it up. First of all, He opened our eyes to our mistaken view of just who the so-called God-given authority in our lives was. We suddenly realized that the "Submit to our rules now, the convictions and peace about it will come later" methods were not Biblical! In the Old Testament, the prophets literally spoke the Word of God. They had to be obeyed unconditionally, because they were the only access to God's Word the people had. We realized that applying this as doctrine to the New Testament church was very, very wrong. The pastor is no longer our prophet, our direct line to God. We all have access to God's Word on our own, and the pastor's teachings should only expound on and corroborate what you have already learned in your own study!!! There is no absolute authority in a man anymore, so when a man takes an "application" of a verse (and Bible verses have many possible and perfectly legitimate applications) and turns it into an "interpretation," which essentially makes it a doctrine, therein lies the error of most fundamentalist churches. It's not that it's wrong to apply verses the way they do to their own life, but it IS wrong to teach this as a doctrine that applies to everyone else. The era of the prophets (as I previously defined them) has ended, but the teaching sadly hasn't in so many churches. Once my husband realized that he was head of the home, and Christ was the head of him, not a man to be set up on a pedestal and blindly followed, the walls came crashing down and we experienced the joys of true Christian liberty.

So why do I consider myself only a semi-recovered fundamentalist? Because even after we blew apart our faulty logic, I was able to embrace the things that I truly believed without being ashamed. We base our beliefs, standards and priorities on what the Lord reveals to me and my husband through the Bible, and we try to heed Matthew 23:23 and not get caught in the trap of the Pharisees. That's not to say we don't think we can learn from a preacher, or that we are above anyone else because we are now " mature and enlightened," we just run all the "you should be doing/wearing/avoiding _______ if you call yourself a Christian" through the filter of the Bible. If it fits, we apply it. If not, we discard it. We don't judge those on either side of the aisle, legalist or liberal, since every man will give account of himself to God (Romans 14:12). Many people, when they finally stagger free of legalism, are so afraid of being sucked back into it (or so bitter about the experience) that they go to the opposite extreme. They stop attending church altogether, chuck any moral standards in their life in the trash can, let their kids run wild and in general just trade one set of problems for another!!! Hubby and I were fortunate that we were able to escape legalism while still realizing that we did have an ultimate authority in our lives - the Word of God. So, now I have people mad at me on both sides. The ones who get out of legalism - and decide to throw out the Bible and Christianity as well - think I'm still brainwashed and ignorant because I still have a moral compass in my life. The legalists in my life assume that I just want to be liberal because I am lazy, fleshly, and not totally "sold out" to God. They're both wrong, but I'm okay with that now! I am comfortable in my own spiritual skin, secure in my identity as God's child.

This is a big topic to try to bite off in one post, but I know I'm not the only one out there who doesn't want to go to one extreme or the other. Hubby and I would sometimes get so exasperated and feel like yelling, "Isn't anyone out there just a NORMAL Christian?" Then we realized, there is no such thing.

Pleeze suport our cauz

2008-05-10T18:12:00.001-07:00

(Hooked on Phonics definitely didn't work for these two.)

In the rain with no umbrella

2008-05-07T18:56:00.001-07:00

"Study to show thyself approved unto God..."

Our pastor has really been in "teaching" mode lately, and it has really fed that desire in me to ask questions. I love to question everything. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those who feel they need to chuck everything they were ever taught just to prove who I really am. I just feel that Christianity is the thinking man or woman's faith, and I don't believe it was ever meant to be blindly followed without really digging into all it has to offer. Many people question their faith because deep down, they want to be free of it. They are in bondage to it, and they, essentially, want out. Their so-called spiritual enlightenment (especially if they are coming out of legalism) is usually the result of some kind of crisis: a personal issue, a church scandal, family problems, etc..., and generally involves embracing any view that comes along first that is diametrically opposite to what they were taught. I, on the other hand, question my faith simply because I believe it begs to be explored.

One of the concepts I have been questioning, which brings me back to the verse I mentioned earlier, is this one of submission. I was brought up in a church of chest-beaters that thought that men, especially men in the minstry, ruled the world, which essentially meant they behaved like spoiled children while the women did all the work. This confused me, but still I didn't question it. It was, after all, what the Bible said, or did it? The natural progression to this teaching was that the church was the ultimate authority in your life, headed by your pastor, who was "God's man." The kicker was, all a woman was required to do was submit - even if the man in her life was wrong. I heard over and over "Submit, and let God work on his heart." We were terrified with stories of those who rose up against "God's man," and assured that wives who did not let their husbands live like narcissistic teenagers would be sending their children to Hell. We were given the illustration of an umbrella, although the Scriptural foundation for this is fairly vague. Under your father/husband/pastor/church you were safe under "God's umbrella of protection." Disagree with your husband, leave your church, question your father and POOF you were removing yourself from this protection, even if they were dead wrong. Submit, and God will work out the details. I believed this. I never questioned it. I felt I was confident enough in myself that I could submit to a man without losing who I was. I felt I had faith enough to let the men in my life make poor judgments, and God would smooth out the wrinkles because, after all, I was being submissive. Guess what? I was so wrong. My husband hated it, because he wanted a Biblical help-meet, not a "yes man," figuratively speaking, of course. He wanted my opinion, my input, my spiritual discernment. I began to realize my father made mistakes, my pastor made mistakes, our church made mistakes... and I could not, in fact should not, submit to them in everything. Our church taught things we disagreed with, and we were faced with a terrifying decision. Do we defy all we've been taught and step outside the umbrella? Or do we stay under teaching that we believe contradicts the Bible and risk losing (or warping) our children like 90% of the kids in the churches we grew up in? We both came to realize that this so-called submission is in fact a form of pride and laziness. Laziness, because by practicing blind submission you don't have to think for yourself. Why? Because, as long as you submit, you are not accountable for the outcome. I hate to break it to ya sweetie, but if you throw your kids under the bus in order to submit to "God-given authority," God doesn't owe you anything. You might just lose your kids and be left wondering what went wrong. The second part is pride. Pride is what make you want to be with people who look alike, think alike, dress alike, talk alike, sing alike... because ultimately then you are always surrounded by...YOURSELF. Most legalists are clothed in the deepest humility, just ask them. In truth, they do what they do because it "feels" good to be part of the group. To be on the inside track to God. To be more enlightened than most other Christians. For all their sweet submissiveness, they are eaten up with pride. My husband and I call it the "Martyr Syndrome." People who just thrive on appearing submissive to everyone else's needs and demands, not realizing it's just feeding their own pride in themselves. Now please know, there are many, if not most, who are very sincere in their ultimate submission, be it to church, pastor, husband, whomever. They certainly don't perceive themselves as lazy or prideful. How could they be lazy, when they are working their tails off waiting on all the men in their lives?!??! It's a spiritual laziness. A mental laziness that says, "I don't want to accept the consequences or the outcome of this myself. therefore I'll just submit, and let God clean up the mess." This is a dangerous trap, and shakes the faith of many when, in fact, God does not clean up the mess. Your child may never come back to God. Your family might fall apart. You will hear all kinds of stories of men and women who submitted and God miraculously changed the situation, turning it all into a bed of roses. You don't hear the rest of the stories, where the mothers and fathers do exactly what they are told, and years later they sit in a church pew alone. Their kids are long gone, eaten up with bitterness and suspicion of "organized religion." It's time to wake up. It's time to open your Bible and study for yourself. Don't wait for a crisis to push you off the deep end. Don't trudge along mindlessly following the comfortable rituals of legalism. "Study to show yourself approved unto God."

Not so very long ago...

2008-05-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that forty years ago interracial marriage was illegal! It's amazing how far we've come in such a relatively short time on matters of race. There are those leaders that like to race-bait, since they would be out of a job if they didn't keep stirring up anger and tension, but overall as a nation I think we've come a long way in embracing equality. Click here for an article about the woman whose marriage paved the way to getting rid of this ridiculous law. I hate to agree with the ACLU on anything, but this is one situation where I applaud the outcome!

Human Spell Check

2008-04-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

My mother-in-law sent me this, with the tongue-in-cheek message, "I thot ewe mite like this." Har, har. Just ask my hubby, I drive him crazy whenever we are out, since I'm doing the same thing this guy does. (Well, not correcting them, just pointing them out.) Typos are one thing. I make all kinds of typo spelling errors, but these printed signs just blow my mind! It's one thing to hit the wrong letter, but these people actually don't know the correct spelling. How do people start a business when they can't spell simple words?!?! Anyway, check it out.

The Human Spell Check

P.S. This guy's voice sounds just like Ray Romano.

Some Irish Music

2008-03-17T16:40:00.000-07:00

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I would like to share this particularly moving rendition of "Danny Boy." It's very touching - have tissues handy!

Crazy Racist Pastor

2008-03-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

Check out this link for some pearls of wisdom from Barak Obama's pastor. I really hope people caught up in Obama-mania realize that he looked to a CRAZY RACIST as a spiritual leader.

Rev Jeremiah Wright

If this man is Barak's moral compass, his inspiration, and one-time pastor of his church he has attended for decades, should it concern us that Rev. Wright supports the Palestinian terrorism against the Jews? That he claims we deserved the 9/11 attacks because we suppress the black man? That he actually presented the Louis Farrakhan (who, among all of his racist ranting claims to be Jesus) with a lifetime achievement award?!?! Do your research, people, this is serious stuff. Barak spouts sweet nothings about "hope" and "change," while managing to never say anything. That way, he can present himself as a blank slate for people to project their hopes and dreams on. He is slipping in under a foggy cloud of mediocrity, neatly side-stepping any real controversy by avoiding tough issues. (Notice how many times he has simply voted "present" as a senator.) He will solve all our problems, supply all our needs, and create peace and harmony and a lemony fresh scent wherever he goes. Wake up and smell the disgusting stench of racism. Barak is seeking revenge, not office.

Marine Invasion!!

2008-03-13T12:11:00.001-07:00

**UPDATE**

Viacom had the video pulled because it is copyrighted material.

So, you'll have to follow the link to Lex's site off Jess's blog!!

It's worth the couple extra clicks.

I laughed so hard at this video. (You have to laugh to keep from being overwhelmed with disgust at these idiots.) Check out this post at Jess's blog! **Warning** If you watch this with a Marine present, be careful!!

Marines: Get Out!

Zwaggle Update - SCRAPBOOKING

2008-03-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

Wow- impressive customer service!! I e-mailed Zwaggle and suggested they add a scrapbooking section. I figured there would be moms (like me) who have accumulated a stash of supplies that we are getting tired of, but can't afford to go buy new stuff!!! Well, I got a response asking for more details from the actual founder of the site. I responded, and within a couple weeks they added an "Arts and Crafts" section with a "Scrapbooking" sub-category. I am anxious now to go through my stash and get rid of all those papers and embellishments that I am tired of looking at. I especially went overboard with the "baby girl" and "It's a girl" stuff. Exactly how many pages did I think I could scrap that say, "It's a girl"?!?!? Not to mention my paper fetish - Argh. My in-laws will be thrilled, since I keep my scrapping supplies over there!!!

So, calling all scrappers: swap your extra scrapping stuff for points!! Keep in mind, they just added this section. Last I checked, there were three items there. Still, the only way it's going to grow is if we put our stuff on there, and spread the word!!! All you scrappers who are cheap like me, this is your chance to trade the old for the new! We may still never have time to scrap, but at least we'll have a better variety in our stash. (Har, Har)

Scrapbooking on Zwaggle

Check out Zwaggle!

2008-02-22T05:38:00.000-08:00

Check out this points-based site called ZWAGGLE for swapping kids' items! You won't make the buck$ like you would on ebay, but it's still a great idea for those items that aren't quite worth the hassle. The more you post, the more you get!

The founder did an interview for his local TV station, which you can watch to hear all about Zwaggle.

Veggie Update

2008-02-12T11:44:00.000-08:00

I've updated the A - Z Veggie post, so it now goes all the way to "Z." We've had fun incorporating this variety into our diet - give it a try!

Depressed

2008-02-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

Hey, if Hillary can get all girlie and it only improves her ratings, allow me some feminine emoting here...
I have to say I'm getting depressed with the way the Republican primaries are shaping up. Don't get me wrong, I will vote for the Republican candidate, but if it is McCain (a.k.a the really old guy who is really a Dem but running as a Republican) I will have to carry a barf bag with me to the polls. I really can't stand that guy. I admire him and respect him in some (very few) ways, but overall I think he's, well, an obnoxious jerk. (Sorry, I tried to think of a more intellectual way to put it.) He has smirked and snickered his way into his conservative-antagonizing positions. I was curious to see how he'd treat us conservatives now that he actually needs our support, and predictably he is still in smirk and snicker mode. Honestly, now I know how the black Democrats feel. (The smart ones anyway.) They always vote Democrat, and they always get tossed aside and ignored. McCain knows darn well that conservatives will vote Republican, so he thinks he can do or say whatever he wants and we will come whimpering back like the nerdy sidekick in school. I'm not going to lie, I was uncomfortable with Romey's being a Mormon. I only wanted him because I was in "anyone but McCain" mode. Not to mention, are Mormon beliefs that much wackier than those who bow at the altar of global warming? And McCain is bowing away with them, along with all his other wacky liberal beliefs. Is his religion really more palatable than Romney's? I'm starting to wonder... I've even heard that McCain claims to be a Baptist, which, being a Baptist myself, I find rather repugnant. Why? Among other reasons, because he refuses to be baptized. Not to split doctrinal hairs here, but being baptized is generally a biggie with us Baptists. I mean, hence the name. Well anyway, now that I am in "anyone but Hillary/Obama" mode I guess I will have to grin and bear it. I respect the position and power of the POTUS too much to sit home and pout. I'll just tell myself I'm voting against Hillary/Obama, take a deep breath and pull the lever.

But I am NOT happy about it.

*sniffle* I miss Thompson...

Favorite Infant and Toddler Websites?

2008-02-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

We have a couple websites that my girls just love, so I thought I'd share them with you... and encourage you to share your favorites with us. We especially love games where the kid can just hit random keys on the keyboard. (PLEASE only share them if you've actually tried them and like them! I can Google for a random list if that's what I was looking for.)

Our two faves are:

http://www.fisher-price.com/

http://www.kneebouncers.com/

On the Fisher Price website, you go into the "Fun and Family Time" menu on the left, then click on "Fun & Games, Online!" for lots of fun options for different age groups.

Some people aren't comfortable letting their kids play on their computer, but I am always looking for something new to try with mine! We have had some great times together, with them sitting in my lap playing these games. Also, I have found they are more patient letting me finish up my "grown-up" stuff if I promise to play with them as soon as I'm done.

Eat Your Veggies!

2008-02-04T12:38:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to list all of the research studies touting the benefits of eating lots of fruits and veggies. Surely we've heard it, and many of us know we should be eating more fruits and veggies. My rule with my kids is, "What do I have to do to this to make you eat it?" (It could be as simple as giving them some ranch to dip it in or sprinkling it with cheese.) I will eat just about anything, but it has to be prepared in a way that is appetizing to me. If you have veggie-phobia, do me a favor and don't pass this on to your kids!!! Offer them a wide variety of nutritious foods, and don't push your own dislikes onto them. If you wrinkle your nose at peas, your kids will more than likely do the same. We owe it to our kids to put the effort into giving them as healthy a start in life as possible, so stop being lazy, GROW UP and improve those eating habits!! ;0) I paged through the book "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfield, and it has a lot of yummy ways to disguise veggies.

I get a newsletter from http://www.savingdinner.com/. In one issue, they featured veggies for each letter of the alphabet. Also, she gives a smoothie recipe... using spinach!! Basically, you just throw a handful of spinach (about 1/2 cup) into your favorite smoothie recipe, and she promises you won't even taste it. I love new ideas, so I thought I'd share them with you. I've italicized the quoted portion which follows:

Have you noticed your produce department doesn't look the same as it did, say, 10 years ago? There is a new game in town with new stuffhitting the shelves daily. We all know what broccoli, green beans and lettuce look like, but what about some of the more obscure vegetables? Let's make a list of some little known veggies you may have seen lurking in your produce department that you know nothing about.

Arugula is a wonderful salad green that has a distinctly peppery taste, sort of radishy-like. That's because it'srelated to radishes, actually. At only 20 calories for 3 cups, this nutrient-rich green is wonderful mixed into your lettuce for a salad with a lot more flavor.

Bok Choy is a Chinese cabbage that looks like the celery and cabbage decided to have a baby together, LOL. I find baby bok choy to be a little tastier. The leaves on bok choy taste more like cabbage while the stalks are much milder. You can add bok choy to your stir fry to boost your intake of beta carotene, vitamin C and iron.

Collard greens. A traditional Southern green (along with turnip greens, creasy greens, etc.) these huge cabbage-like leaves have avery distinct flavor and do well to be handled like kale; tough stems removed, chopped, steamed, then sautéed in olive oil and garlic. Collards, like all greens, are high in folate, vitamin C, beta carotene and calcium.

Delicata. Delicata is a thin-skinned winter squash with a yellowish skin. This oblong squash lives up to its name with a sweet, delicate flavor. Another nutrient rich veggie, you're going to get lots of fiber, vitamins A & C, as well as potassium and thiamine! Yum!

Escarole. If you're not careful, you could mistake escarole for a head of green leaf lettuce. Escarole is mild in flavor and is delicious sautéed in olive oil, garlic and sprinkling of pine nuts. Another nutrient rich veggie, it's high in fiber, too.

Fennel. Do you like licorice? If so, you will love fennel! The huge bulb and dill-looking leaves can be eaten raw or cooked. I love it sautéed in olive oil till caramelized and topped on my fish. The flavor is terrific; a lot of bang for your buck!

Ginger. Nothing beats fresh ginger. It's weird looking—I've often said it looks like an alien root-mass of sorts. But the very thin skin doesn't even need to be peeled! Just wash it well, grate it like you would cheese and then add it to your stir fries. You will never go back to dried ginger again. I store mine in a freezer quality ziplock bag in the freezer. It works. Ginger is good for an upset stomach too.

Haricot Verts. These are, essentially, green beans (if you took French 1, you'll remember this as a vocabulary word, lol). They aren't just any green beans though. Traditionally, haricot verts are beautiful, skinny, luscious green beans that require no string removal, no steaming, just a quick sauté in your skillet with a generous portionof garlic, a little butter and olive oil and some salt and pepper to finish. Honestly, these green beans are simply delicious!

Italian parsley. This parsley's flavor is much stronger and brighter than standard issue parsley. It looks more like cilantro than regular parsley and if you're cooking Mexican, you need to be careful when getting your cilantro because often times, grocery stores have these two items together on the produce shelves (I've bought Italian parsley accidentally before). Try chopping this parsley and adding it to soups, potatoes and stews for an extra bonus in flavor and to garnish your plates a bit, too.

Jicama. Jicama is a tuber with crisp, white flesh that is nice and crunchy in salads. You gotta get rid of the bumpy, fibrous brown skin to uncover the fun that's beneath. You can also cut the jicama up into sticks and serve with your favorite dip, right alongside the celery and carrot sticks.

Kohlrabi. That's what I said, kohlrabi. Say that fast ten times! Kohlrabi isn't the most attractive vegetable, but the flavor? Well, it's two in one. The big bulbously green root tastes similar to broccoli stems with a touch of horseradish-y like flavor. The leaves are a lot like turnip greens…delicately flavored and delicious.

Lamb's lettuce is also known as Mache. The reason they call it lamb's lettuce is that the leaves resemble a lamb's tongue, believe it or not. This rich tasting salad green is rich in iron (it has a third as much iron as spinach!) and lots of B vitamins and C, too. Try it in a salad this week, you'll love it!

Mushrooms are nothing new, but there is more than just the white mushrooms you grew up with. There are portabello, cremini, enoki,morels, porcini to name a few. Just slice a few up, sauté them up and serve them over a piece of grilled chicken, fish or steak. Mushrooms, no matter how you slice them, are delicious!

Napa cabbage is a favorite of mine. You've seen this, I'm sure. Bought it? Probably not. But Napa cabbage looks like an elongated cabbage with pretty, pale green, crinkly leaves. Napa is mild and sweet and wonderful in everything from a stir fry to soup. You can easily use it in a cole slaw too. Like other vegetables in the cruciferous family,it is high in vitamin C, assorted B vitamins and has a good dose of calcium, too.

Okra. Well known in the South, but obscure elsewhere in the world. Okra is a deliciously mild veggie, used in gumbos, soups and stews. Generally, the younger the okra (as in, the smaller the okra), the less glutinous it will be. The nutritional value of okra? Well, it’s high in fiber, vitamins A & C and a smattering of B vitamins as well. So enjoy!

Parsnip. It looks like a white carrot, but the taste isn’t as sweet and there is more of an “earthiness” to it. Used in stews and soups, parsnips can also shine on their own as a side dish. Simply steam them up, toss in a little butter, thyme and salt and pepper for a deliciously different side dish.

Quinoa, a grain you aren’t going to find in the produce department, but I thought I’d throw it at you anyway, after all, it’s something worth seeking out! Quinoa is an ancient grain high in amino acids, creamy in flavor, nutty, slightly crunchy and a great side dish diversion from the usual rice and potatoes. Check it out and give it a try!

Radish. Not the common red radishes we all grew up with, but black radishes. They’re much bigger than the red ones (about the size of a turnip) and the flavor is just as pungent as a red radish, but the flesh a little drier. Great grated into your salad!

Shallots are one of my favorite veggies. I like to think of these cute little onion like tubers as the love child of garlic and onion. Shallots have a sweet flavor, yet it’s complexity and deep flavor are favored by chefs all over the globe. Chop some up, sauté them in a little olive oil and then do your skillet chicken. You’ll be surprised at the punch these little gems can deliver to your food!

Tomatillo. The lovely tomatillo looks like a green tomato in its own brown paper packaging. Tomatillos are prized by Hispanic cooks for their tart, distinctive flavor. Green enchiladas and chile verde are both made with tomatillos.

Upland cress is also known as watercress. Watercress is prized in Europe more so than in the United States. The delicate, peppery taste makes for a wonderful soup, a nice addition to salads and a lovely garnish. Watercress is a good source of B vitamins, beta carotene and calcium.

Vidalia onions are sweet onions grown primarily in the South. These lovely onions earn high marks in flavor and are best used in dishes where they are raw and they can shine. Nothing like a Vidalia onion in your potato salad!

Wasabi is Japanese horseradish. More commonly seen in a powdered form, this root is grated to make a paste that accompanies sushi and sashimi, however, it is also delicious made into sauces and used on grilled meats, poultry and fish. Yum!

X, Y, and Z….well, there is zucchini, right? You know about that. Why not try a different type of zucchini this week? The round yellow zucchini have often been called scallopini zucchini. They are dense, seedless (just about, anyway) and layer beautifully with your pounded chicken breasts, drizzle with butter and capers. You’ll love this zucchini!

That’s it folks, that’s all I’ve got in the veggie dept. Stay tuned…I’ll be giving you some more in the fruit section! For more help putting dinner on your table check out her website www.SavingDinner.com or her Saving Dinner Book series published by Ballantine and her New York Times Best Selling book Body Clutter, published by Fireside. Copyright 2008 Leanne Ely.

Study Says Vaccinations Don't Cause Autism

2008-02-02T11:13:00.000-08:00

Study Debunks Link Between Vaccines and Autism

The conspiracy theorist in me still has a lot of questions, but I have to admit I heaved a huge sigh of relief reading this story!!! My oldest daughter was adopted from South America, and she received the older versions of most vaccines, including the live polio and Heb B as well as vaccines containing thimerosal. So, as you can imagine, I had all kinds of things to worry about. (It's the Mommy Worry Gene; I can't help it.) It was not an option, due to their legal requirements, for me to waive her vaccinations, although I was able to petition the embassy to allow me to wait until we returned to the U.S. for some of them. She had already received several, though, so every time I read a story about the dangers associated with the vaccines she received, I would just cringe. Naturally, this story was a breath of fresh air!

Presidential Candidate Quiz

2008-01-29T11:58:00.000-08:00

I took this Presidential Candidate Quiz at my MIL's blog, and was surprised at the results. I can't stand Huckabee or McCain, but apparently we agree on some issues. I was a little disturbed to see I agree with Hillary 26% of the time - I'll have to work on lowering that score. ;0) Try it out and see what you think!

Here are my scores:

84% Mike Huckabee
83% Mitt Romney
82% John McCain
82% Fred Thompson
78% Tom Tancredo
70% Ron Paul
65% Rudy Giuliani
32% Bill Richardson
26% Hillary Clinton
25% Chris Dodd
24% Mike Gravel
24% John Edwards
22% Barack Obama
22% Joe Biden
18% Dennis Kucinich

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Farewell, Fred

2008-01-23T11:35:00.000-08:00

Although I saw it coming, I was disappointed in Fred Thompson's withdrawal from the Presidential race. By default, I am now supporting Mitt Romney. *collective gasp from my Baptist readers* Yes, the Mormon guy. And I quite literally mean "by default," meaning the only reason I have chosen to support him is that all the other candidates have some kind of bigger deal-breaker than a wacky religion. I'm not going to lie, I am uncomfortable with his religion. However, I think it is more dangerous to vote in a man with a more palatable religion who will lead the country down the wrong path. Many leaders have claimed religious affiliations that caused the religious voters to swoon, only to get into office and be a dismal failure. (Anyone old enough to remember Jimmy Carter?) So, I have decided to support the man who I think will both morally and socially be the most effective leader of this country. Yes, I think it's weird that he believes all women should strive to be eternally pregnant. But that's all it is - a weird belief. He is not going to get into office and issue an executive order that all women get pregnant.
Basically, although I am a bit uncomfortable with putting a Mormon in such a high position of power, I am even more uncomfortable with the other choices. I know there isn't a man who's going to run who believes exactly like I do, so I will just have to take the closest thing!

Are You A Subconscious Racist?

2008-01-20T15:09:00.000-08:00

I have heard this twice in the last few weeks, so I am curious about other's opinions. I heard someone say that they believe all people are racist. Where you live and what your culture dictates determines who exactly you are racist against, but ultimately all people groups are raised in suspicion of another people group (or groups). There are a myriad of reasons, and I won't get into analyzing all that. I instead want to focus on whether or not we are all secretly harboring hidden prejudice. Do you agree or disagree? Is it possible to be truly color blind? Do those who claim to judge character first, skin color second only deluding themselves? And if we are raised with racist views or teachings, is that something that will be permanently embedded in your mind, or is it something you can overcome?

I found this article interesting. I hope that these views aren't taken to the extreme, so that if you disagree with Obama (as I do) on his social and political views, it will be assumed that it is because of a deep seated, hidden racism. Personally, I also can't stand Bill Clinton (but that is largely based on his contemptible, degrading treatment of women), and he's white, although he tries to act otherwise to garner popularity. I feel it is just as ignorant to support Obama because he's black as it is to dislike him because he's black.

What struck me about this article was the assumption that a lot of people will not support Obama because deep down, they just don't trust the black guy. This article seemed to assume that all people are slaves to their hidden racism, and it is something we cannot truly overcome. I disagree. I believe only the lazy and ignorant are racist; only the small-minded who form their view of the world based solely on their own experiences. Whatever people group they have the most bad experiences with, or whichever group their authority figures (usually parents) label as "bad," "lazy," "devious," "incompetent," "untrustworthy," etc..., they will just transfer this prejudice to the entire people group. Rather than taking each person and giving them a chance individually, they make broad assumptions. Again, this is just the lazy, ignorant route. It takes effort, intelligence, and a truly open heart to evaluate people on an individual basis. Some groups, especially young people, seem determined to earn the negative stereotypes associated with them, and this is frustrating. Still, I think that there are people, and Christians especially, who should be able to transcend their societal views and evaluate people based on their individual personalities. All societies have their divisions, whether race or class, but is it truly impossible to overcome? I hope not.

My Personal Favorite

2008-01-17T20:21:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't been overly impressed with the choices this time around, but I have to say I am still rooting for Fred Thompson. He's not perfect, none of the candidates are, but he seems to be the closest to who I'd like to see running our country. I would like to see him a bit stronger on the issues that matter to me, but from what I have seen/heard in interviews and articles, he at least seems to be on the same side I am. If he doesn't do better in the primaries, maybe he would be a good choice for VP? I just found an article by David Limbaugh endorsing him with some good general information. Also, in the transcript of an interview with Hannity he briefly answers some of the issues raised about how conservative he truly is.

Obama votes against abortion survivors

2008-01-16T17:32:00.000-08:00

There is a bill called the Born Alive Infants Protection Act that guarantees that any infant born alive at any stage of development will be afforded the FULL RIGHTS of a human being. This includes receiving any medical attention necessary for survival. While this may seem like an obvious fact to make into a law, apparently there were cases of babies actually surviving abortions and not being afforded these rights. Some hospitals have a policy that if a baby is born with zero chance of survival (For example, before 22 weeks gestation, or with severe, untreatable fatal abnormalities) they will provide "comfort care," keeping the baby warm and fed until it dies naturally, usually within hours. Well, apparently there were hospitals that were applying this "comfort care only" policy to babies who survived abortions, even if the baby had no birth defects and had a chance of survival, albeit with the expected risks of being born prematurely due to a forced labor in an attempt to abort the pregnancy. Under this law, if a child is fully born for any reason (even a botched abortion) killing it is murder.

Here is an excerpt from an article by Terence Jeffrey.

When Obama was in the Illinois Senate, the Born Alive Infants bill came up three successive years.

In 2001, three bills were proposed to help babies who survived induced labor abortions. One, like the federal Born Alive Infants bill, simply said a living "homo sapiens" wholly emerged from his mother should be treated as a "'person,' 'human being,' 'child' and 'individual.'"

On all three bills, Obama voted "present," effectively the same as a "no." Defining "a pre-viable fetus" that survived an abortion as a "person" or "child," he argued, "would essentially bar abortions, because the Equal Protection Clause does not allow somebody to kill a child, and if this is a child, then this would be an anti-abortion statute."

Do Your Homework!!

2008-01-16T17:19:00.000-08:00

As much as I've made fun of women who voted for Hillary to "get even" with men, I'm afraid a lot of my fellow Republicans are making the same mistake of voting for someone for all the wrong reasons. I love this quote from Ann Coulter's Column, "The Elephant in the Room."

Dear Republicans: Please do one-tenth as much research before casting a vote in a presidential election as you do before buying a new car.
Are you too busy boning up on Consumer Reports' reviews of microwave ovens to spend one day thinking about who should be the next leader of the free world? Are you familiar with our "no exchange/no return" policy on presidential candidates? Voting for McCain because he was a POW a quarter-century ago or Huckabee because he was a Baptist preacher is like buying a new car because you like the color.

Hillary fans get even with guys

2008-01-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

I listened to so many interviews with women after Hillary's win in NH that really made me gag. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough for Hilary to have such a corny teary moment, you should have heard the response of the women who voted for her! They were saying things along the lines of, "I wasn't sure who to vote for, but when I went to work/turned on my TV and saw these overweight men in suits snickering at Hillary for getting all weepy, I just know this was my chance to get even with all these male pigs." Okay, that's a very mature, intelligent, level-headed reason for making someone your presidential candidate: To get back at the loser men in your life. In other words, because a lot of women in this country have bad taste in guys, or else don't have enough self-confidence to roll their eyes at the idiots we all come in contact with, we may wake up one morning to Madame President Clinton... and the return of Slick Willy. Oh good one, ladies. You want to score one for the feminist movement by returning a sex addict to the White House. You feel bad for women who are being down-trodden and degraded, like poor Shrillary was, so let's return an accused rapist and womanizer to the highest position of power in the land. Excuse me for not getting it, but how exactly is this punishing all those egocentric male chauvinist pigs? Women voted for Hillary out of revenge, but what, did they forget about that man attached to her? I wouldn't exactly call a guy who gave a whole new sordid meaning to the term "Bumming a cigar" a stellar champion of treating women with respect.. Hmmm.... free reign of the White House while Hillary does all the real work. And what is one of the President's spouse's job? To entertain the spouses of the visiting dignitaries, right? Do the words "fox" and "hen house" mean anything to you? I can just picture Hillary leaning over a conference table intensely negotiating our foreign policy with a visiting head of state... while Bill "entertains" the guy's wife in the next room by playing strip Twister and doing Jell-O shots. (And I thought the Democrats were promising to restore America's credibility overseas. *sigh*) Yeah, you showed 'em girls. Don't let those evil men get away with this degrading behavior! Let's get Hill and Bill back in the spotlight so they can show us all how women ought to be treated.

Pleeeeease, girls. Next time you have a point to prove, please remember the following advice, "Better to let people think you're an unintelligent, uninformed ditz than to vote for Hillary for such an idiotic reason and remove all doubt."

Hillary gets all girlie

2008-01-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

The typically stoic Clinton conceded that an emotional moment during a pre-election rally on Monday, in which she came close to tears as she discussed her reasons for wanting the presidency, may have helped her.

"I had this incredible moment of connection with the voters of New Hampshire and they saw it and they heard it. And they gave me this incredible victory last night," she said on CBS' "Early Show" on Wednesday.

Oh puh-leeeease. There is nothing more embarrassing to me, as a woman, when the girl has to act all "girlie" to try to make it in a man's world. Do we really want a president who feels she connects with voters when she gets all teary!?!? I can just see her head-to-head with some rogue nation's dictator, setting forth our country's demands, then pouting and getting teary when they don't take her seriously. Don't get me wrong, I don't think Hillary is a girlie girl at all. Quite the contrary, I agree with one article that said, "We know Hillary is man enough for the job, but is she woman enough?" I think the nearly teary moment was just to show off her acting abilities. All I am complaining about is when women play the whole emotional female card to get ahead. It reminds me of when Indy car racer Danica Patrick posed for those sleazy photos before a race. Personally, I would love for a woman to go out there and kick the boys' butts in racing. It's fun. I just wish she could have made her point by kicking their butts, not showing off hers (and a lot more!). To me it plays right into the stereotype that women can't really compete, so they have to degrade themselves by faking a teary moment or acting trashy. Come on girls, have some dignity!!! Use brains, not breasts. Issues and passion over teary pleas. I just can't see Margaret Thatcher getting all weepy in order to "connect with voters," and she's the type of woman leader I could look up to.

Excellent Homeschool Info

2008-01-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

I read this article on Jess's blog and really liked the way the facts were presented. Please click here to check it out! I'll add my thoughts later... (You didn't think you would escape my opinions, did you!??!)

Homeschooling is NOT for everyone. People often have very extreme views on homeschooling, and it usually reflects their own experiences, whether good or bad. Even within my own immediate family (we were all home schooled for varying lengths of time) the opinion ranges from approval to repulsion. I have had the fortune (and misfortune) to experience both ends of the spectrum within our extended family and social circles: excellent homeschooling and really, really awful homeschooling. When done right, it is fabulous. When done wrong, it is devastating to the child and the family.

Christmas Update

2008-01-04T17:25:00.001-08:00

Wow, I have gotten some interesting phone calls an e-mails about my last post! There are a couple things I'd like to clarify: a lot of people have said it sounds mean-spirited, overly harsh, and not giving Jesus the glory at Christmas. I apologize if that's how you perceived it, but I believe that if you read it carefully you will see my true intention is to preserve Christianity, not tear it down. I am simply warning against getting caught up in these little details and traditions and missing the big picture. I have no problem with those who want to dedicate Christmas to the Birth of Christ. Although that is not the origin of the Christmas celebration, and the Bible doesn't specifically command us to commemorate His birth, I certainly don't think it will hurt anything! In my opinion, anytime you can bring honor and glory to God you should. I just want other Christians to be careful not to be harsh and judgemental as if they can lay some kind of claim to ownership on Christmas. I was raised in a church where it was practically a sin to mention Santa Clause, and some families even called him Satan Clause for "daring" to take the focus off of Christ. I think taking this extreme view only pushes non-Christians away. (Not to mention, the families that go to these extremes after several years generally ended up very worldly and/or their kids went wild when they got older.) At the same time, I don't put any special emphasis on Santa Clause as anything other than an imaginary Christmas character, like Rudolph or Frosty. Whenever you blow things out of proportion it always blows up in your face. Try to keep a balanced attitude and keep your perspective Bible-based instead of Bandwagon-based. Again, sorry to those I offended! I was actually laughing while I wrote it - I wasn't trying to be mean. I can have a harsh sense of humor, though, and I certainly didn't want to come off like I am some anti-Christmas Scroogette. I was just a little taken aback that with all of the things in our society that are offensive to Christianity and God, "Happy Holidays" seems like the least of our worries!

Merry, uh, Holidays?

2007-12-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

I have to admit sometimes I'm a little slow to notice things. When I am on a mission, focused on one task, I am not easily distracted. So, it took me a while to catch on to the whole "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" war while I was doing my Christmas shopping. At first, I just thought people thought I was hard-of-hearing. They would lean forward, give me a meaningful look and say "Mer-ry Christ-mas!" enunciating it like it was some kind of secret code. Or, I would say, "Merry Christmas" and get a smirk and a pointed "Happy Holidays" from an attitude-laden teenager. I was beginning to feel like I was back in junior high and a group of friends had formed a club without telling me, complete with secret passwords. From what I could gather, Merry Christmas was good, Happy Holidays was bad. And I could tell that, to the people who were "in the know," it was very important to give the right greeting, since you were also making a statement. Something like, "Merry Christmas" means "I love God" and "Happy Holidays" means "I don't like God." This seemed rather silly and trivial to me, but then I am never the type to jump on bandwagons. They are always smelly and crowded with people who have bland personalities and need to be told what to think. I certainly don't need to be told what to think, but I did decide to try to get to the bottom of this. I got the scoop by accident, when at a holiday gathering, (or should I say Christmas gathering, so you don't think I'm an atheist?) I mentioned that I was sick and tired of all the "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" business. Before I could elaborate, she began gushing, "Oh I know! I went into a store the other day, and the greeter said, Happy Holidays, and I told them I wasn't even going to shop there! I have been going out of my way to say Merry Christmas anytime I hear someone say Happy Holidays, just to prove a point. We can't let them take Christ out of Christmas!" It was one of those rare times where I was actually speechless. Not because I couldn't think of anything to say (never have that problem) but I could think of TOO much to say and I didn't want to start an argument.

However, here's a list of facts that ran through my mind:

Would you really stop shopping at a store because they say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, and do you really think this helps point the lost world to Christ? I mean, last time I checked, we were a free country and people were allowed to greet people however they choose. It's not like they are saying or doing anything offensive like flashing you or flipping you off. Not to mention, many companies have a lot more questionable practices than the specific wording of their greetings, and I don't see anyone caring about any of those.

Second, as far as taking CHRIST out of CHRISTmas, oh puh-leeeeease. When was Christ ever actually in Christmas? Do I need to remind you that it wasn't so very long ago that the winter solstice was a PAGAN celebration, honored by such religious figures as virgin-sacrificing druids? It was combined with a celebration of the birth of Christ by a pope in order to allow Christians to celebrate with their non-Christian friends without feeling guilty about it. A classic case of, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I hate to burst the bubble of a lot of holier than thou Christians, but Jesus was not born in the winter, the first candy cane had nothing to do with the shepherds hook, and the Christmas tree was not invented by Martin Luther (an entirely different figure than Martin Luther King, for you who are historically challenged) after seeing the stars shining through the fir trees to thank the Lord for showing him the proverbial light. These are all heart-warming stories, but they were invented to make Christians feel good about themselves. Now, that's not to say I believe it's wrong to celebrate Christmas. I love Christmas, but I take it for what it is. It was not originally a Christian holiday, so any references we see and hear to Christ and the Nativity, I take as a bonus. I love to hear the Christmas carols that give the salvation message, I love the attitude of goodwill that is promoted, I love to see all the different nativity scenes, and I love teaching my children the Nativity story and watching them act it out. But I still don't kid myself that this is some kind of religious institution. It is, after all, basically a societal compromise.

Third, is it a very Christian attitude to say or do anything to prove a point? Seriously, when you hiss "Merry Christmas" at the hapless cashier who has been instructed to say "Happy Holidays," are you really demonstrating the love of God?

The fact of the matter is this: Yes, I get frustrated when the world tries to scrub anything that has any kind of "religious" flavor to it in order to not offend the non-religious. Yes, I believe Christianity is picked on more than other religions, and yes this is not fair. But that all being said, GROW UP!!! America is far, far away from her Christian founding, and it's not going to change anytime soon. I don't need a contrived holiday to glorify the birth of the God and Savior I adore. I don't care if they call it a holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree - God made all the trees whether people choose to acknowledge Him or not. I read somewhere that if Christians worked as hard at keeping Christ-honoring symbols in their own lives, it wouldn't matter if they had a Nativity in the town square. There would be millions of them in the yards of Christian homes! We can get so caught up in proving a point that we lose the loving attitude that is supposed to truly define a Christian. Nowhere in the Bible are we commanded to celebrate the Birth of Christ, but we are commanded to spend our lives trying to reach a lost world who are drowning in a sea of sin, hopelessness, depression and despair, especially at this time of year. They don't need a so-called Christian giving them a snide "Merry Christmas," they need a caring person to offer to help them carry their bags, be compassionate with the harried store staff that is being run ragged, drop a few coins in the Salvation Army kettles, and overall treat people the way Christ would have us treat them. America is not going to be bullied back to her Christian roots, and in fact may never go back to her Christian roots. The people who do decide to become Christians, or to return to Christianity after leaving it, are going to do so because of the genuine people who were caring, kind and REAL. If Christians put as much effort into being exemplary in every other aspect of their lives and they do in jumping on the bandwagons of these created "causes" we would probably get a lot more done.

And from now on, I'm just going to wish everyone Happy Hanukkah and be done with it.

How to have a financially stress-free holiday season!!

2007-12-18T17:30:00.000-08:00

No, this is not a post yelling at people for spending too much, getting caught up in the commercial side of Christmas, being too busy to focus on the birth of Christ, or lecturing you to make all your gifts from scratch because homemade gifts are cheaper and more thoughtful. The facts are these: Yes, we all spend a lot, probably too much this time of year, but that's just the way it is. Yes, we do get too busy to focus on the birth of Christ, but call me cynical - The birth of Christ wasn't on December 25th anyway, and don't we get too busy to put Christ first in our lives at various points all year long?!?! I mean, is this really something confined only to December? And as for making all your gifts from scratch... if I did that, I'd really be stretching the limits of the saying, "It's the thought that counts." (I'm not a particularly creative person.) Sorry to be so blunt, but that's not what this post is about. It is, quite literally, just about the ca$h factor.

I mentioned to my hair stylist that my hubby and I do the majority of our Christmas shopping all in one day - the day affectionately nicknamed "Black Friday." Yep, the day after Thanksgiving I am one of those crazies in line somewhere at 4:00 a.m. clutching a strong coffee and my Christmas planner. (And yes, by all means, get a baby-sitter.) We spend the evening before planning our battle strategy - choosing which stores to go to first, depending on who has the hottest "Early Bird" specials. Our group has grown over the years, and now we drive in a caravan of two or three vehicles. (This is great for having people take turns standing in the often l-o-n-g lines.) Anyway, she told me, "Well, there's no way I could do that. I just don't have the money to shop all at once. I end up missing a lot of bargains because I have to wait for each paycheck and then rush out and shop." That's when I revealed our secret for financially stress-free Christmas shopping: our Holiday Club account. Go to your bank or credit union and see if they offer this great service. Our credit union takes a set amount out of our checking account all year and puts it into the "Holiday Club" savings account. (And ours is an interest bearing account, to sweeten the deal...) Even if it's only $10, you will have over $500 next Christmas. Do the math, and you'll see that $20 will net you $1,000 to spend next year! Who wouldn't love an extra $1,000 at Christmas?!?!! On November 1st, the money is automatically transferred from the holiday club to our savings account. (And then summarily dumped into my checking account to pay off my credit card charges...) We may over-spend a little bit sometimes, but for the most part we can start the New Year without the debt of a pre-Christmas shopping frenzy... and yet I still get all the fun of a pre-Christmas shopping frenzy. This is also the money I use to get us girls new holiday outfits, eat out when we are out shopping all day, or grab an overpriced drink at Starbucks without feeling guilty. I have heard so many people this year really struggling financially this Christmas, especially those of us lucky enough to be in the fine economy here in Michigan. One woman told me in tears, "I barely have money to make ends meet! How am I supposed to buy Christmas gifts?" Even a few dollars set aside all year would help relieve that burden. If you are the creative, crafty sort, you can use your saved money to make tasteful, inexpensive handmade gifts and stretch that holiday dollar even farther. (I am generally NOT the creative sort, unless I am duplicating something that someone else created, so I am better off bargain hunting.)

Don't procrastinate - get to your bank or credit union and set up this account!!!! Now is the time so you will have an entire year to save for next Christmas. And DON'T think, "Well, that's a great idea. I'll just set aside a few bucks on my own." Because, frankly, you won't. You'll either forget, misplace the money, or wait a few weeks and plan to "catch up" later... and then forget about it before April. Have the bank do your thinking for you and take it out before you even notice it. I have been preaching this to everyone who has cried to me about how difficult this holiday will be for them... so I figured I'd preach about it here, too! Hey, if it helps one other person have less stress next Christmas... it's worth it.

Now, if your problem is just that you spend spend spend like crazy at Christmas, you will have to take it a step farther and set up a budget. I use a Christmas planner, and it is a lifesaver. For those of you who itch at the thought of being organized, just use a regular old notebook. Write out a list of all your Christmas expenses, including your per person spending limit, holiday outfits/accessories, holiday cooking/baking ingredients to buy (Yummy! It's not Christmas here without piles of cookie, candy, and fudge!), Christmas cards, pictures, and postage, etc... plus a little extra for all the little "extras" that come up. Add it all up, then divide this total by 52. This will be the amount you need to save each week. Next year, you can do a little happy dance that you were so smart in thinking ahead!

Heart-breaking Story

2007-12-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

There are so many tragedies wrapped up in this story! I could hardly take it all in when I read it.

Church Shootings

Church and the Younger Generation

2007-11-30T13:47:00.000-08:00

I came across an article citing a survey that states 70% of kids raised in church will "drop out" (their words, not mine) by the age of 23. The most frequently cited reasons for leaving came as no surprise to me:

"Church members are too judgemental"
"Church members are too hypocritical"
"I just don't relate with or connect to the people at church." (This is either in reference to the members or the pastor.)

Well, let me tell you after being raised in church since I was a baby, the first two answers are, regrettably, very true. There are a lot of hypocrites, and there are a lot of people who wear religion like some kind of badge so they can feel better about themselves and look down on others. I've dealt with these kind of people my whole life, and even if you are not a church-goer I can assure you they get on my nerves as badly as yours!!! So, why do I choose to raise my kids in church? Why do I continue to go in spite of all the stories I could tell about what "really goes on"? First of all, I have been very fortunate to have met up with some truly genuine Christians. I'm not talking about the people who feel they have to cram their views down everyone's throat (and in the process make some of their victims so bitter toward God they actually prevent them from finding God). I'm talking about people who are compassionate, loving, patient, and REAL. Their faith is real, their relationship with God is real, and they have a calm, contented air about them instead of that bizarre angry intensity that too many people mistake for religious zeal. Sadly, these types of Christians are rare gems, and in all the Christians I've known they are a very small majority. So, why don't I get discouraged with the larger group of fake, judgmental, arrogant, mean and critical group of so-called Christians? Simple. I'm not there for the people. My relationship with God is based on my PERSONAL experiences with Him, which are very real to me. (Can you tell I like to deal with reality? Ironic, since we're talking about matters of faith, but I digress...) Although I haven't always liked what He chooses for my life, I can honestly say, "God is no hypocrite!" God is the one constant in my life, and I separate Christians and their human flaws from God and His perfection. I do not expect perfection from someone simply because they claim to be a Christian, so since my faith is not in people, my faith is not shaken when people fall. Oh trust me, I get discouraged. I get mad. I get disgusted with things that go on. But none of that compares to the joy and peace I have in my faith and relationship with God. I couldn't possibly throw it all away because some people who claim to be Christians act like a pompous windbag or a devious fraud. You think you have some big scoop on someone who claimed to be a Christian, and yet they________________ ? Listen to me, honey, I could fill a big, fat juicy expose' book with all kinds of stories like that. It's not that I'm so great and spiritual that I am able to rise above this. Quite the contrary. God's faith is made perfect in my weakness. It is my very dependence on Him that causes me to cling to Him even harder when other Christians do things that are very un-Christlike. I believe the Bible is true. I believe Christ is the only way to Heaven after we die, and the only way to a fulfilled life before we die. I have chosen to spend my life getting to know more about the Lord and getting closer to Him, and doing all I can to make Him known to others through my life. And, frankly, I believe that I cannot do this without being actively involved in a local church so that I can be part of a greater outreach both in my local community and throughout the world through missions. After all, isn't that our whole purpose here? If we choose to worship God on our own terms instead of His, if we are honest, we find that in fact we are just cutting ourselves off from people so they can't hurt us... and in the process cutting ourselves off from being able to minister to others. Please don't think I look down on those who have chosen not to attend church. Everyone makes their own choices, and I am not responsible for your choices any more than you are responsible for mine. If your mind is made up, I'm not trying to judge you. This post is more to reach out to those who have been hurt by "Christians," who feel like Christianity is all just a big scam and not worth the effort, or who think living the Christian life is more trouble than it's worth. Please believe me. All Christians do not fit the negative stereotype. I'll admit, many of them do, some even unintentionally, but really the best advice I can give is: stop looking at Christians. They will disappoint you. Look at Christ, and all He has done. My sister and I were joking about this one day and she said, "People who have a bad experience in church say they will never go to church again, but if they have a bad experience in a restaurant do they say they'll never eat out again?" I'll admit, it takes a lot of effort to find a church that's a good "fit" for your family, and certainly no church is going to be perfect. But in the long run, it's worth the effort!

It's Time to GIVE!!!

2007-11-19T11:11:00.000-08:00

This is the season we should really have our thoughts focused on giving. Hopefully, this goes beyond hitting the malls and racking up HUGE credit card balances purchasing more junk for people who don't need it. I'm talking about giving to those truly in need! My daughter absolutely loves when the Salvation Army bell ringers start their seasonal donation drive. For those of you who complain about the noise, avert your eyes and rush in quickly to avoid them - SHAME ON YOU!!! Grab a handful of change out of your car ashtray, let your kids learn to have a compassionate, charitable spirit, and for Pete's sake smile at the bell ringer and wish them a Merry Christmas. We were at Wal-mart last week, and Elianna asked if she could ring the bell. The lady handed it to her, and Elianna would run up to people and shake it at them like she was mugging them. (I think she broke a donation record for that three minutes!)

Other ideas for keeping our focus on the right kind of giving this season:

Go through your children's toys, and donate (or throw away, depending on their condition) at least 1/3 of them. You will get at least that much for Christmas anyway, so now is the time to get that playroom or toy area cleaned out. If it's out-of-date, broken, ignored, etc... don't hang on to it. Children are actually happier with fewer toys and an organized space than with overwhelming piles of toys stacked up everywhere. Keep it simple, and teach your child to be unselfish.

Grab a box or bag, label it "Donations," and leave it somewhere accessible. As you go about your daily routine, toss everything into it you can do without. Go through your closets and get rid of that outfit you will never fit into again, isn't the right color for you, never fit right anyway, or that you have worn too many times and has seen better days. Get rid of those extra things in your cupboards that take up room, even though you haven't used them for 4 years. You keep telling yourself, "But I just might need them!" Well, if you do, borrow one from someone else. Throw yours in the box to donate!! Again, after the holidays you will have more useless junk, so now is the time to purge. Take the box out to your vehicle, and next time you are out running errands drop it off at your favorite charity. Or, even easier, call Purple Heart or Salvation Army and they will drive to your house and pick it up for you! How much easier can they make it?!?! Don't forget to get an estimate of the value so you can write it off on your taxes. You have till the end of this year to claim your donation, so do it now!!

**Click here for a link that will give you a value estimate on your donations. Most people grossly underestimate the value of their donations, so make sure you get a fair estimate so you can pay a few dollars less at tax time.**

Get involved in one of those "sponsor a child's Christmas" programs. Many churches offer these, and you can either buy gifts for a specific child or for a children's group home. At our church, you can get a child's picture with their name, age, clothing sizes, and favorite color. These are children living in homeless shelters, and often they do not have families or families with the means to get them Christmas gifts. We are sponsoring a 6-year-old boy this year, and Elianna is so excited to go shopping and pick him out a new, warm winter coat, and some pajamas. We will wrap it up, put his name on it, and on Christmas while many spoiled children gripe and complain about not getting exactly what they want, that little boy will be grateful to have something warm (and new) to wear.

It is a scientifically proven fact: People who hoard things and have junk stashed all over are actually more selfish than people who are willing to let things go! This is ironic to me, since the people with stashes seem to have more to give. In fact, there is a higher depression rate among people who do not give to any charitable cause, and a low depression rate among people who give everything away! (I am trying to find the article I read about this - I'll post it if I find it.) So, keep your spirits up and GIVE GIVE GIVE stuff away this Christmas!! I promise you'll feel so good if you do.

Look out, here comes FLYLady!!!

2007-11-07T13:59:00.000-08:00

Am I the only woman that ever worked full time (and then some) who looked at stay-at-home moms and wondered how clean and organized your house would be if you had ALL that free time? I could not understand why any mom who didn't work outside the home ever was stressed or crunched for time. I mean, what else do you have to do!?!?

Yeah, right. Once I actually became a stay-at-home mom, my perspective changed dramatically. (Isn't that the way it usually happens?) Now that my house was actually in use all day, it actually seemed to be getting worse, not better! My standards crept lower as the laundry piled higher, and my frustration mounted with every passing cobweb. I tried valiantly to find the balance between spending your whole day cleaning, thus creating a museum-like showplace of domestic harmony, or shoveling a path through the clutter and spending the entire day splashing in finger paint and watching DVDs of Little Bear with my girls. I mean, is it morally wrong that those tasty crunchy treats my kids are munching on for their mid-morning snack are actually dried up pasta shells from yesterday's lunch that they scratched off the floor? There are starving kids in some faraway continent that would be grateful for our shriveled peas and brown apple slices. Well, all of that is changing now - I have found a new website that has helped me to get organized and stay on top of my housework. I am really loving this website!! You would not believe all I am getting done!!! Even the top of my fridge is shiny and clean. Granted, I am picking and choosing to some extent, but overall this is a GREAT program. You all know how I DETEST housework, but I detest clutter even more. So I was ending up very conflicted and generally agitated about my house. This system really works - Check it out!!

FlyLady.net

Support Sears, Support our troops!

2007-10-24T15:59:00.000-07:00

I am copying an e-mail I received, and everything italicized is from the e-mail, not my own words.. From what I have been able to research, this is true. If you know anything otherwise, please let me know!!!

I know I needed this reminder since Sears isn't always my first choice. Amazing when you think of how long the war has lasted and they haven't withdrawn from their commitment. Could we each buy at least one thing at Sears this year? How does Sears treat its employees who are called up for military duty? By law, they are required to hold their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a big pay cut and lose benefits as a result of being called up. Sears is voluntarily paying the difference in salaries and maintaining all benefits, including medical insurance and bonus programs, for all called up reservist employees for up to two years. I submit that Sears is an exemplary corporate citizen and should be recognized for its contribution. I suggest we all shop at Sears, and be sure to find a manager to tell them why we are there so the company gets the positive reinforcement it well deserves. Pass it on.

Decided to check this before I sent it forward. So I sent the following e-mail to the Sears Customer Service Department:

I received this e-mail and I would like to know if it is true. If it is, the Internet may have just become one very good source of advertisement for your company. I know I would go out of my way to buy products from Sears instead of another store for a like item, even if it's cheaper at that store.

This is their answer to my e-mail:

Dear Customer:Thank you for contacting Sears.The information is factual. We appreciate your positive feedback.Sears regards service to our country as one of greatest sacrifices our young men and women can make. We are happy to do our part to lessen the burden they bear at this time.
Bill Thorn
Sears Customer Care
http://us.f815.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=webcenter@sears.com
1-800-349 -4358

Please pass this on to all your friends. Sears needs to be recognized for this outstanding contribution and we need to show them as Americans, we do appreciate what they are doing for our military!!!

It's Verified ! By Snopes.com at: http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/sears.asp
(shows the entire article)

Men Can Scrapbook, too!!

2007-10-08T09:22:00.000-07:00

For all you scrapbookers and/or greeting card makers... Did you ever wish your man would get involved in your creations with you? Yeah, me neither. But here is a great tutorial video by a man, for men who want to make a greeting card for their sweetheart.

Garage Made Greeting Card

The Family Team

2007-10-02T09:57:00.001-07:00

Our speaker at MOPS this week was Melissa Robertson, and I was just so encouraged and inspired by her. She is one of those sweet women that makes you feel instantly as though you've known her for years. As a home-schooling mother of five, she definitely has her hands full! But she knows how to roll with the punches, pick her battles, and most importantly keep God and His principles first in her life. I really enjoyed her topic, and she gave me permission to share it here with you. I am writing this based on the notes I took, so it is not what she said verbatim. It's a re-telling, not a transcript! ;0) Hope you are as blessed as I was.

The Family Team

Here are some tips to help your family work together as a team. Mrs. Robertson used the analogy of a sports team to represent how a family can defeat opposition and become victorious.

1. Identify your true opponent.
It's always embarrassing when you score a point for your opponent, yet that is exactly what we do as a family when we attack each other. As frustrated as we may get with our children or spouse, we must realize that life should not be a daily battle with them! We must recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses, and learn how to work with them. Don't try to mold them into who you WANT them to be, but be willing to work with each other as you all strive to be what GOD wants you to be.
Your opponent is not other Christians. Women especially have the tendency to feel competitive with other moms, and you try to out-do each other in various areas. Who's the better cook? Who has the higher dress standards? Who has the nicest/cleanest home? Whose children are the smartest or most popular? Again, fighting other families simply scores points for our true opponent and weakens our team. Let your children hear you praise others instead of bragging or criticizing, and this will instill a sweet, humble spirit in your own child. Try to exhort and encourage other moms instead of competing with them. Overall, remember that the Devil is the true enemy of our families, and he is the one we want to score against.

2. Follow the right playbook.
A Christian family must acknowledge the Bible as the ultimate and final authority. Beware of adding or subtracting from this, as this will be a stumbling block to your children and may in fact make them more likely to rebel. Define your family with Biblical principles, not society's ideals. Seek out Bible-based resources such as devotional helps. (Mrs. Robertson recommends "Our 24 Family Ways" by Clay Clarkson. It is a devotional guide for the family, and even has coloring pages that illustrate the different concepts for the younger children.) Reading the Bible can be tedious and overwhelming for children, so put the effort into finding materials that will bring God's Word to their level of understanding. The better they understand the rules of the game, the better they will be able to play. Not to mention, making devotions fun for them will make them more likely to stick with it as they get older and into adulthood. Also, keep the basic rules of the house simple, and make sure you have Bible to back up these rules (even if only in principle).

3. Know your position and play it as well as you can.
Dad is the coach, and Mom is the captain. Dad makes the plays and does the research, and Mom makes it all happen in day-to-day life. It goes without saying that Mom has lots of input into Dad's decisions, but beware of trying to have two coaches! Assign your kids duties, and make them stay faithful even when the novelty wears off. Your child will not be productive at first, and in fact it will be easier for you NOT to invest the time in teaching them. (How many times have I been tempted to push her aside and say "Oh never mind! Let me do it myself!") In the long run, though, you do your child a terrible disservice by catering to him/her and not teaching him valuable skills. Instill a Godly work ethic early on, and this will build the right kind of self-esteem in your child, based on something he/she can actually accomplish. Give them something to do, make them learn to do it well, and then they will have something to be legitimately proud of. Try to make it a point to work alongside your child. A child will feel resentful and overwhelmed of you pile duties on him then kick back and read a book. Working together will actually build a love for work in them, since they will cherish the time spent with you. There are exceptions and use some common sense here, but a good general rule is "When you are working, your child is working. Rest and play together." It may be an inconvenience at first, but taking the time and effort to help your child develop skills and use talents will pay off for both of you. You will gain valuable help as their skills improve, and they will gain confidence as they see that they are able to make meaningful contributions.

4. Build Team Spirit
Take time to practice together as much as possible. The more time a team spends together, the better they know each other and the better they will play together. Make the time to have a regular "family night," and take the time to have meaningful conversations with your children throughout the day. Capitalize on "teachable moments," and remember that your team will all outgrow your league soon enough. Then there will be plenty of time to clean up the arena! ;0) Attend church regularly, since this is where your team will study and learn the "playbook" and continue to grow to be better "team players." Network with other Christian families, since they will become your team's cheerleaders, giving you the boost you need when your team gets in a slump. (And we moms know it's no fun being in a losing streak!) When choosing a ministry within your local church, make sure it is not something that your children will have to compete with for your attention. Make it something that you all can benefit from and serve in together, even if in different capacities. You will win more games if you play together as a team as opposed to every member off helping other teams and neglecting their own.

5. Evaluate your definition of victory.
What truly defines a victorious team? What makes a family a real success in God's eyes? Society will tell you this is based on academic achievements, wealth, popularity, or visible talents. Some families are just happy if their children acknowledge Christianity, maybe say a prayer and call themselves "saved." The Bible, however, defines a successful family team as one that produces not only "good" kids, but truly Godly kids. Children who go on to complete the work began in their lives, giving God complete control over their lives, giving the Bible complete authority in their lives, and allowing God to use them in whatever way He has planned for them. Producing a team that brings glory to its "Owner and Creator" is something we as moms especially will spend the majority of our lives striving for, but we find our strength and inspiration every time we are able to score a point against our opponent and see our children slowly come not only to a realization of Christ, but develop a very real and personal relationship with Him.

It's Business Time

2007-09-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

*This video has a more mature theme, just to warn you. It is not appropriate for young viewers.*

I hope I don't offend you with this video, and I am trying to give fair warning. Although I think it is tasteful, it is about the topic of sex so it is only for my married readers! ;0) I have to admit, when I watched this video at Jess's blog, and I laughed so hard I cried. The funniest parts are the ones that are (gasp) true! (Particularly wearing the ugly baggy T-shirt and the tripping over the jeans. Ahem, had both of those happen!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did... and may we all aspire to never let our love life sink to this level!

Senator Sues God

2007-09-18T13:51:00.000-07:00

It's always good to see our tax dollars hard at work... Click the link to watch the video:

Senator Sues God

Terror in the Skies

2007-09-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

I copied this article, so the links may not work. Sorry! If you'd like to sign the petition mentioned, just type the address directly into your browser. I have signed the petition and urge as many of you as possible to do so. The more awareness that is brought to this issue the better.

Biblical perspectives on contemporary cinema
Friday, September 07, 2007

Terror in the Skies!

Imagine this: You and your family—including your wide-eyed preschoolers—are strapped into seats. You're not allowed to get up and move. You're not allowed to leave the room. You're stuck, and you have no choice about what's soon to come your way.A screen appears right before your eyes. Before long, you—and your wide-eyed preschoolers—see a man shoot his wife in the face, then drag her body from a pool of blood. Or you see a 12-year-old boy crushed against a fence by a car. Or a teenager zipping up her jeans after having sex.And there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. You're literally a captive audience.Sounds like something out of a scary movie, doesn't it? Unfortunately, it happens every day—at about 30,000 feet.Commercial airlines regularly show R-rated films and other mature programming, some of it only barely edited from its original form. Sure, you can refuse to wear the headphones, but the images are still there, projected on all those nearby screens for you—and your wide-eyed preschoolers—to see.Cover their eyes? Ha. Ever traveled with a squirrelly, inquisitive 5-year-old? Good luck.The New York Times recently reported on this issue in a must-read story that should get any reasonable-thinking person upset—especially when you read such comments as this one from Eric Kleiman, a spokesman for Continental Airlines: "Parents have to be responsible for the actions of their kids—whether they shouldn't look at the screen or look away." What a dumb statement; I'd bet the clueless Kleiman doesn't have any kids. Kleiman further put his foot in his mouth by saying that airline entertainment is just keeping pace with what's happening on TV and in movie theaters: "Our approach is consistent with where society is going with this."Uhh, that's Dumb Remark Number Two from Kleiman. We have choices with TV and movies: With the former, we can change the channel, turn it off, or send the kids into another room; and with the latter, we can leave the kids at home, or not to go at all.Last time I checked, parents didn't have such choices while strapped in their seats in a long narrow tube zooming along at 30,000 feet. I suggest Mr. Kleiman should zip it.One couple said they spent two hours on a recent flight trying to distract their 6-year-old son from seeing scenes from Shooter, which depicts multiple gory killings. The sounds of gunshots from nearby headphones alerted the kid to look up at just the "wrong" moments. Anecdotal evidence suggests that airlines are showing more and more R-rated and graphic fare. Delta started showing R movies in December, while United and US Airways are showing R movies more frequently than ever. Timothy Winter, president of the Parents Television Council, said, "You don't have to have 'Leave It to Beaver' on, but for Pete's sake, you don't have to have Eva Longoria seducing the high school kid on the dining room table, either."Are you ticked off yet? Me too. So I went online and signed a petition at KidSafeFilms.org, which is gathering support for restrictions on airline films. Jesse Kalisher, who founded the site, is beginning to lobby federal legislators to act.Go, Jesse, go. With that story setting the stage, three new reviews this week, including a couple you'll certainly want to keep the kids far away from. 3:10 to Yuma, starring the terrific Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, is a well-done remake of a 1957 classic Western, but it can get pretty violent. Still, it's loaded with discussion fodder about right and wrong, and might be fitting for older, mature teens. That certainly can't be said for Shoot 'Em Up, with two more great actors, Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti, whose characters are pure scum in this non-stop exhibition of vulgarity and bad taste.But you can take the whole family to see In the Shadow of the Moon—that is, if it's playing in your town. It's in limited release right now, but we hope it'll go wider. Our first four-star review in a while, the documentary is an enthralling look at the Apollo missions to the moon—and the bravery and resourcefulness that got us there.Now that's one flight we can highly recommend—even with wide-eyed preschoolers.

See you at the movies,
Mark MoringOnline Editor/Music & Film

To reply to this newsletter: http://us.f815.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=ctmovies@christianitytoday.com

Dealing with Discouragement

2007-09-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

I have heard it said that the greatest tool the Devil has against someone is discouragement, but I take it a step further. I believe it is the isolation that comes with discouragement. Have you ever noticed that when something (or someone) has really gotten you down, if there are people around you to help you out of your slump, you are able to shake it off much quicker. However, when you start to feel isolated, what may not have been a very big issue to begin with can grow and grow until you have some heavy-duty depression setting in.

So, what causes this isolation? There are many different reasons for it, but I had one older woman tell me she believed one of the greatest factors was the fear of letting people know you were discouraged. Many of us are so afraid that if anyone finds out we are dealing with discouragement, they will think it is because we are not spiritual, because we aren't good wives, mothers, teachers, etc..., because we are in some kind of sin, because we're too weak, stupid (fill in the other self-degrading adjective here) to handle our lives, the list goes on. And the really sad part is, sometimes it's true that there are people who react that way! They see someone who is discouraged and think, "Well, it's their own fault, since they did ______." I was talking to one woman who is in her 50's, and I was telling her how I felt bad for someone who was really struggling with discouragement. She just rolled her eyes and said, "You know, there are some people who just like to be mad and bitter all the time. You can't feel sorry for them or try to help them, since they really just enjoy being that way." Wow, now that's a loving, compassionate attitude for you. Now, I will admit there are some people who just revel in being a victim, but for the most part people do NOT enjoy being unhappy. (Not to mention, it is not our job to decide that someone "deserves to be" or "wants to be" depressed.) I was really taken aback by her attitude, and I wondered how many other people think this way! It is easy to see why some people hide their discouragement and try to deal with it on their own, afraid of what people will think of them if they confide that they are struggling. This is really sad.

My mom had a friend (who was battling cancer at the time) talk to her about dealing with discouragement, and every other sentence she kept giving the disclaimer, "I mean, I DO trust God, it's just that..." It was as if she was afraid that by confessing her emotional struggles, people would assume she wasn't trusting God. Well, I have news for you, if not liking your situation made you not right with God, then Jesus did wrong in the Garden of Gethsemane when He prayed to God, "Let this cup pass from me." Guess what! Jesus was not looking forward to being crucified!!!! In fact, He felt emotions about it to an extent we will never comprehend, sweating drops of blood as He prayed, and He was not in sin. Job cursed the day he was born, and if you read the book of Job you will see (in very poetic language) just how strongly Job felt about his situation. Later we read, "In all this, Job sinned not..." Job was very vocal about his feelings when all he had was wiped out and all his children were killed! He didn't just bite the bullet, smile piously, say, "Well, I'm just trusting the Lord" and go floating on his way. He was very open about his feelings. What am I getting at? Don't be afraid to feel things. Don't feel guilty when you feel overwhelmed. Don't be afraid to cry out to God that you are not happy with His plan in your life sometimes. I am not talking about defiance, I am talking about crying out to your Heavenly Father saying, "This hurts too bad! I don't think I can handle this!!" The most precious moments I have had communing with God have been in times when my heart was broken, and I just told God exactly what I feeling. My favorite verse when I am feeling down is, "The Lord is nigh unto them that of a broken heart." We can ask God "Why?" anytime, as long as we are willing to accept the answer. These feelings of sadness, despair, being overwhelmed, feeling hopeless, feeling guilty, frustration... all are not sin in themselves. It's all in how you handle it. If you let this discouragement grow into rebellion and bitterness, now you have a problem. Nip it in the bud, so to speak. These are some little tips that help me to fight discouragement:

If you are feeling down, don't be ashamed of it. You're not doing anything wrong by feeling this way. Once you can accept that these feelings are okay, you will be better able to deal with it.

Find a friend or family member you can confide in... the sooner the better!!! It's especially nice to have someone you can vent to that won't take it personally or make it worse. The longer you let something go, the worse it gets. Snuff out those little issues quickly.

Work on your relationship with God. Make your peace with His will in your life. If He has revealed a sin in your life that you just aren't willing to take care of, true peace is going to elude you until you deal with it. Remember, God is the only One who will never let you down, and it sounds corny and cliche' but it's true: He only wants the best for your life. You may not always like what He has in store for your life, and that's okay. Just don't let anger or bitterness at God for the way He has directed your life build up to the point where there is a wall between you. Blocking God out of your life is a very dangerous decision, and I can guarantee that whatever the reason you are pushing Him away, it's not worth it. It's a plain and proven fact : You need God in your life.

Realize you are worth salvaging. When you feel down, it's easy to think that no one cares about you, no one needs you, and it really doesn't matter if you can shake this or not. Every human being in every situation is needed by someone and has a Divine purpose. Never forget that.

Make sure it's not a physical problem. Persistent, recurring depression lasting longer than four weeks at a time may be a problem requiring a doctor's advice. Don't try to be a hero. If you had diabetes, you wouldn't feel weak by taking insulin! Some of the most damaged lives I've seen are people who had medical problems and were told it was just a "sin problem" or believed it was a weakness of some kind. If you need help, take the initiative and get it. You're worth it!!!

Recognize that ups and downs are normal. You will have days when you feel on top of the world... and days when you wish you could just stay in bed and eat chocolate. God created everything to have cycles; nothing ever is exactly the same all the time. So for goodness' sake, don't expect your emotions to be.

Work on personal relationships. Take time out of your day to blog, e-mail, make a phone call, mail a card... whatever your communication preference. Just stay connected. The more you withdraw into yourself, the more susceptible to isolation you will become. I am the type that has to remind myself to talk to people. (I can be a bit of a hermit.) But, it's worth the effort. One way to tell if you are doing good with your inter-personal relationships is by having a good "mix" of contacts. There should be a bit of each: family, old friends and new friends.

Reevaluate your priorities. Are you discouraged because you feel overwhelmed? Like you just can't keep up no matter how hard you try? Take a step back and realize if you made the people you care about feel loved today, it doesn't matter if the laundry didn't get folded. Sometimes we are discouraged because we are looking for the wrong things to make us feel like we accomplished something. (Especially as mothers! We can sometimes feel like we run around all day just to break even, let alone accomplish anything!!!) Realize that even the little things you do matter, and only worry about things that will make a difference in 20 years. This doesn't mean totally neglecting housework, though, since dishes sitting in the sink for 20 years will be pretty gross... (Sorry, couldn't help it.)

Find out what makes you feel good - and DO IT. (Within reason, if you are prone to overdoing things... Having a bit of ice cream is okay. Eating the whole carton is not.) Use common sense here, ladies. ;0) I don't mean trying to elope with some hunk or blowing up someone's car when they make you mad. I am talking about something that is not immoral or illegal! Write down a list of your favorite simple pleasures, and when you get in a slump pull it out and indulge yourself. Again, if you catch it soon enough, you'd be surprised how much easier it is to shake off those blues.

Lastly, if you are not struggling with discouragement, reach out to someone who might be. Have compassion and remember, people need love the most when they deserve it the least. A person who is discouraged can be kind of cranky and annoying to be around, but sow that seed of kindness and it may grow into a friendship that you just might need somewhere down the road.

Too "hot" to fly?

2007-09-07T09:19:00.001-07:00

Check out this link:

Mini skirt gets grounded
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/237/popup/index.php?cl=4002556

It cracks me up how they trot out a feminist to comment on this! Oh, that will be a really objective opinion, coming from someone who thinks all men are pigs anyway. Feminism teaches that a woman should be allowed to walk around in whatever attire she wants, and it's everyone else's fault if they can't handle it. Sorry, call me old-fashioned, but if it's not for sale, Don't Advertise. And if you choose to flaunt it, don't complain when you get a reaction you don't like. It's not up to the rest of the world to make you feel comfortable with however you choose to present yourself, it's up to you as a decent human being to care about following basic societal norms. Good grief, it's not like society's standards are that high anymore anyway!
Personally, I am glad the airline gave her a lecture on her revealing clothes and asked her to "adjust" things a bit before allowing her back on the flight. She says it was embarrassing, but a Hooter's waitress flashing that much skin obviously has a compromised sense of shame. I would like to know if my husband was flying somewhere, he wouldn't have to sit next to someone dressed like that. Many guys would probably enjoy it, but really, girls, let's have a little more more self-respect and class, shall we?! When my dad worked for Northwest Airlines, we weren't allowed to fly if we were wearing denim or if we weren't wearing socks. Failing to comply with the dress code could mean my dad getting his flight privileges revoked. To take it a step further, when my dad flew as a child, he had to wear a suit!

(The only thing I wish the airlines would do differently is be as strict with potential terrorists as they were with a sleazily dressed college student.)

Miss Teen USA

2007-09-04T16:56:00.001-07:00

I know you probably have all seen this, but I was just blown away by this!!! If my daughter ends up this ditzy... Oh well, at least she sure is purty!

I didn't have much time to comment when I posted this initially, but now that I have a moment...
*getting out my soapbox*
*climbing onto my soapbox*

I am truly hoping for the day when beauty pageants go the way of the gladiators and other spectator sports that demean the value of human beings. I know, I know, criticizing beauty pageants is something only plain or ugly people do, but I personally think it is offensive the way they ACT like they are interested in the contestants' thoughts, dreams, and ambitions, then have them parade around in bathing suits. Come on, surely we can find something else to celebrate in these young women other than great legs or being, ahem, well-endowed. How does any self-respecting woman justify parading herself like a hunk of meat in a butcher shop? Oh, I'm all for being attractive and classy, and there are definitely those who are more attractive than others... I just hope my daughters learns to value a sharp mind, a kind heart, and a sweet spirit over looking good while strutting in front of a bunch of ogling men. (Nothing against the men implied in that statement! You put a brownie sundae in front of me, I'd drool, too.)

I heard the contestant in the video above in an interview later, and I will grant that she was willing to laugh at herself. (Sh also gave the answer she was swinging at wildly, and it was much better than the original.) We all have our ditzy moments, but may I point out that had she not been parading herself on one of those women-degrading, flesh-baring, intellectually-challenged shows to begin with, the world would not have seen (and so thoroughly enjoyed) hers.

The Great Military Debate

2007-08-20T13:03:00.001-07:00

... or at least one of many. I have edited this post to add a great quote and an EXCELLENT article I came across. To see the article now (if you've already read this post) click here, or click on the link by the mention of Charlie Rangel wanting to reinstate the draft.

I had a conversation with one of the typical anti-war types the other day. You know, the whole "This war is all about profit for Halliburton" and "Only dumb poor kids with no other future are recruited" and "No one in government has family in the military, they just send poor black kids to die for their hopeless causes" and "Our government hates our military - they are just numbers to them, not people" routine. I have given these arguments some thought, and - Surprise! Now I'm going to give my opinion. That's the fun of a blog. In person you have to bite your tongue and be polite, but on my blog I can speak my mind. Hey, it's a free cyberspace, you don't have to read it.

"This war is all about profit for Halliburton."

This one makes me laugh, because I have realized that mentioning the war without saying the word "Halliburton" is impossible for a liberal. It jumps out, like a sneeze or a cough. The liberal will be on a wonderful rant on how they just know Bush sent Hurricane Katrina to kill all the poor black people in New Orleans, and "Halliburton" will blurt out before they even know it's coming. It doesn't even have to be applicable to the argument. Anyway, I guess I just assume that if the government wanted to throw some shady profits to a certain company, like, Halliburton for example, they could have found a much simpler and easier way to do it than taking an entire country to war. Washington is full of politicians on both side of the aisle that are there to further their agendas and make their friends rich. They do it well, and they do it often. They don't have to take America to war to do it. My guess is... there was a little more to their decision.

"The government doesn't send their own kids, they recruit poor black kids with no other future to be their cannon fodder."

Well, it sounds good, but unfortunately the facts speak quite differently. It is NOT only poor black kids that join the military. If there seems to be a large number of children from middle to lower income families - that's because they are the largest group in America! And, since I have many friends and family members in the military, including my own brother who will be leaving in a few weeks, I actually find it offensive to insinuate that the military is comprised of a bunch of losers that had nothing better to do with their life. They were sitting around a school playground drooling when a recruiter came and offered them the world. Being ignorant and having no concept of what they were doing, they signed up! WRONG. I know this is a difficult concept for many liberals to grasp, but some people actually still think the military is an honorable profession! They are joining to make something of themselves, to pursue a dream, and to accomplish something they can be proud of. Not because they had no other option in life. My brother is proud to fight for his country, and being an intelligent and motivated young man there are many things he could have done with his life. HE CHOSE THE MILITARY, and I dare anyone to say it to my face that he got talked into it because he couldn't cut it for anything else. I remember the push to reinstate the draft by a certain Democrat congressman (Charles Rangel D-N.Y.) who was complaining about this very thing. The draft was shot down, and the facts were made clear. We have an ALL VOLUNTEER army, and it just so happens to be the greatest military in the world.

Edited to add this quote I came across by Edward Bernard:

Then there is the military. Both in war and in peace, high-status Americans think that volunteer soldiers have no brains and no education. The truth is otherwise. Many U.S. officers have master's degrees and Ph.D.s., and more than a few NCOs and enlisted men have bachelor's degrees, which they came into the service with or earned while in the military. In U.S. Special Forces, composed of sergeants and officers, being comfortable in at least two foreign languages and foreign cultures is a sine qua non.

"Our government hates the military - they aren't people to them, just numbers."

This argument has an element of truth to it, although I don't believe the government as a whole hates its military. I have a hard time explaining this, and I hope I am not misunderstood. From a logical standpoint, the government cannot put the human interest of the army personnel ahead of the country's best interest. By that I mean, sending any person into harm's way (to war, for example) is putting the country's interest first, and the individual human interest second. All commanders know that, though they may love their soldiers fiercely, they have to be willing to send them on missions knowing some or many may not return. If all military decisions were made putting the comfort and safety of the military AHEAD of the mission, we would never achieve victory. The emotional support of the military men and women needs to come from us at home!!!! We need to be writing them letters/e-mails, sending them care packages, doing all we can to show them we support them and what they are doing. Now, this administration has made some decisions that I believe have slapped the military and veterans in the face. I am not going to be naive and say that they have always been 100% supportive and always done the right thing. I am simply pointing out that the government is going to put the country's best interest first, and the military serves the country. They aren't going to be buddies. In reality, the soldier is just government property. So, if you think that they need to be treated better - get out there and do something about it!!! And if it's something beyond your control (a policy decision, a benefit reduction, a lengthened deployment) then let your voice be heard! Write your elected officials, raise a ruckus. This is a democracy, after all. We're not as powerless as you think.

Overall, I am tired of those who are always AGAINST everything, but never FOR anything. They hate Bush, but who do they love? They hate the government, but they don't even vote or get involved in supporting any cause. They are against the war so they bash the military, but what causes DO they support? What actually IS worth dying for to them? Living to hate is such a pointless, dissatisfying existence. Live to accomplish things, and make the best of any situation. Even if you were against going to war, we are there now. Now we need to support the men and women fighting this war and shut the heck up about Halliburton.

A Contempt For Things Broken

2007-08-14T19:25:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while, an illustration that the pastor uses will just really hit me. While we were up north this past weekend, the pastor was saying that people have, by nature, a contempt for things broken. He told us about a rubber mallet he bought, used once, and SNAP! Off broke the handle. He sawed it off, shaved it down, and used the handle to fix a hammer. While using the hammer, a knot in the wood of the handle came loose and caused the hammer to be lopsided. He said you would swing it, and it would just flail around wildly. By now he was so frustrated he went to his table saw and proceeded to saw the handle into pieces! He said he was just so fed up with that handle, that he destroyed it beyond the point of any usefulness. He then pointed out that, although we laugh at that story, many of us act exactly that way with the broken people we come across in our lives. How many of us shrink away from a drug user, roll our eyes in disgust at a teenager aborting her second baby in two years, write off an errant child who makes a series of stupid decisions, or gossip about a woman whose marriage falls apart due to unfaithfulness. Why is it we have such a contempt and disgust for broken lives? The Bible says, "A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench." More plainly, God doesn't kick you when you're down. Christians, are we so wrapped up in our own "righteousness" that we forget that our whole purpose here on earth is to reach out to others? Do we look at those still ensnared in sin with disgust? If so, shame on you. It is only by the grace of God that you and I are not in their shoes. If we were truly aware of how much of God's grace is involved in making us who we are, we would be so overcome with humility and gratitude to the Lord that there would be no room for the pious pride that seems to be the lifeblood of so many so-called Christians. I know so many Christians who have in fact been a stumbling block to their family and friends because, rather than reaching out to them and seeking to win them, they had to make sure everyone knew how disgusted they were with their "wicked ways." I know many will immediately pipe up with, "But we can't condone their sin!" To be honest, that answer is just a lazy way out. There are many ways we can reach out to the hurting and broken without enabling their lifestyle. I know I have made the personal commitment to try to be aware of this in my own life. It is not our call when someone has "thrown their life away." As long as they are living, no matter how bad it gets, it is our responsibility to fight to the end, even if all we can do is pray. When we stand before the Lord, we will give an account of those whom we had the chance to reach and are lost because we thought we did the spiritual thing by proudly displaying our contempt for things broken.

Funny Headlines

2007-08-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

I know I've been on an "Iraq War" kick lately - Sorry. Whether you agree with it or not, we are all tired of this war, and I can only imagine that the soldiers and their families are especially "war weary." So, I don't want to get in a blogging rut or anything - but I just got such a kick out of this e-mail I had to post it. I have been having some technical difficulties, and in fact this whole post has been erased once!! Anyway, I am trying it again, hopefully it works this time.

Updated to Add: Okay, I am just not getting these to space evenly, no matter what I try. Just use your head and I'm sure you can figure out which caption goes to which picture! Sorry about that...

Here are some pictures the media forgot to show us. If they had, these are the captions they likely would have shown:

While Asleep on Duty, Soldier Uses Iraqi Child as Body Armor

Terrified and Angry Iraqi Children Thank GIs for Not Opening Fire on Their Soccer Game

Another Example of Soldier Engaged in "Tickle Torture"

GI Hangs Iraqi Child By His Fingertips!

Troops Force Iraqi Children to Seesaw Till They Talk

Iraqi Child Bites GI in Self Defense

Soldier Employs Controversial "Talk or I'll Tickle You" Method. Another Example of Failed Intelligence Gathering.

American Soldier Tries to EAT Iraqi Child

Evidence of Forced Child Labor

P.S. If you want the scoop on the first picture, click here for the great story!

Pardon my ranting...

2007-08-10T12:53:00.001-07:00

I do not have the time to give this the full attention it deserves, but this has just really pushed my buttons. I will hopefully be able to give a better update later.
The New Republic, a seething mass of liberals vomiting their hatred for all things conservative and spewing socialist opinions in the forms of facts, had been publishing a column called The Baghdad Diarist by a "passionate and talented" writer (their description, not mine) calling himself Scott Thomas. He claimed to be writing from Iraq while serving in the military, and was sharing stories of our troops gloriously representing their country by crushing stray dogs by swerving their Bradley Military Vehicles (have you seen those things?!!? How do you make them "swerve" exactly...), mocking a women whose face had been horribly disfigured from an IED, and wearing the bones of dead Iraqi children as crowns. I'm sure TNR put as much effort into validating these stories as Dan Rather & Company put into document verification. It involves a process similar to this:
1. Does it bash the military?
2. Does it try to portray the war and those fighting it in the most despicable light possible?
3. Oh heck, does it in any way further our radical, left-wing agenda?
Yes to all three? Cool! Let's print it!
I'm sure it comes as no surprise that after a lot of pressure and a military investigation of "Scott Thomas," it's been revealed that just about the only true thing he wrote was that he is in the military. I went to TNR to see what their response to this was, and let me tell you, only read their response if you have a barf bag handy. Here is TNR's reply. My favorite line in this was, "If the truth ends up reflecting poorly on our judgment, we will accept responsibility for that. But we also refuse to rush to judgment on our writer or ourselves." You refuse to rush to judgement!?!? Ironically, "rush" is too slow of a word to describe just how quickly you pounce on any anti-war propaganda someone is willing to dream up.

What makes me so sick about all of this is that so many liberals claim, "We support the troops, just not the war." Sorry, but that is a hypocritical, self-serving statement. Don't claim to support the troops, then gleefully race to publish any sick story that disparages the character of our men and women in uniform. I would like to think that the unmasking of "Scott Thomas" as a fraud will cause at least one liberal to pause and check the facts before assuming (and promoting the idea) that the Iraq War has turned all of the men and women serving there into babbling crazed idiots.

But, I doubt it.

Heart-wrenching Photo

2007-08-09T13:16:00.001-07:00

I was so moved by this picture. War definitely has its ugly side, and this is it. At the same time, you can just feel the soldier's raw emotions as they try to rescue this child. (This photograph was taken moments after a terrorist attack wounded this little girl.)

I've done some research on the photographer who took this picture. His name is Michael Yon and his images are all very powerful. However, he has written that he feels the above picture "most completely embodies his experiences in Iraq."

If the Old Barn Needs Paint...

2007-08-08T12:49:00.001-07:00

I got such a laugh out of this article, Cosmetic Appeal. I don't personally buy the really expensive cosmetics, I'm more of a L'oreal, Maybelline, Cover Girl... and a bit of Avon thrown in for good measure. But, I do know I like (and, dare I say, sometimes really need) my makeup!!! I especially liked the part about her husband sitting and watching her put on makeup, mesmerized by the process. Chad used to do the same thing! He comes from a home where none of the females used makeup, so he found my morning transformations especially fascinating. So, here's to all of us who need to paint a bit of "pretty" on our face now and then! Hey, I love being a girl.

Baby Genius? Think again!

2007-08-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

It seemed to become quite the craze - all those DVDs that promised to turn your child into a genius. Just plug them in, and get on with your life! Now, any mom with a brain knows there is never any substitute for good, old-fashioned one-on-one interaction with your baby... but now there is a study that says children who are plugged in at an early age actually have smaller vocabularies. I am sure more and more research is out there and will soon prove just how detrimental television is to very young minds. Hey, I'm the first to say it's nice to have a break now and then, but let's not let it progress to where our children spend the majority of their day drooling in front of a screen with that vacant "TV stare" on their face.

Click here for the story:
DVDs don't produce Brainy Babies

Taking Time for MOMMY

2007-08-06T16:57:00.001-07:00

There is some good advice in this article!! Any other good "sanity saver" tips you'd like to share?

Mom Care
Keep up your daily mom maintenance so you don't run out of gas.
By Barb Vogelgesang

"Is everyone buckled up? I just need to get gas, and we're good to go." I looked in the rearview mirror at the four young faces depending on me to get them to their various practices, doctors' appointments and friends' houses. I checked for my grocery list and pulled out of our driveway grateful that our minivan enables me to meet these needs. A few months ago, though, I ran out of gas! The five of us sat by the side of the road waiting for help. Our lives stopped because I hadn't kept up the daily maintenance of our vehicle.

Moms can run out of gas, too. If we don't care for ourselves in the midst of mothering, we'll break down and fail to meet the needs of our family. So how do we keep up the daily maintenance on Mom? Following is my personal care and feeding plan so I don't run out of gas.

Downtime is crucial. If I'm cranky and tired, the atmosphere of our house suffers. I've given myself permission to go to sleep early. The laundry can wait until morning to be put away.

Sharing the joy of raising our children with my hubby is important. Instead of hoping my husband will know when I need help, I specifically ask for his help. When it's his turn to make dinner, I agree that macaroni and cheese with hot dogs is delicious.

Great girlfriends are a must. Real friends don't tempt us down the path of gossip or self-pity. They inspire us, love us, pray with us, keep us accountable and give us tangible help that we can give back. I use e-mail and the telephone to keep in touch and plan mom playdates to keep me in top condition.

Training my children to be a family team is essential. My four kids help with chores and the everyday stuff of running a house. Their participation has allowed me to avoid the stress of disorder and disharmony. The team mentality spreads out the responsibility so it doesn't all fall on my shoulders.

Asking for help when I need it is vital. I am omni-nothing. But God is omni-everything. I continually ask him to place the people and resources in my life to help me accomplish all that's before me. I also work on accepting others' help and beat back the issues of pride that say I can and must do it all myself.

Having a creative outlet is FUNdamental. God, the ultimate Creator, made us in his image, and I need to satisfy the creative part of me. Writing and teaching theatre enable me to pursue goals beyond the household chore list.

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is critical. Good eating habits, regular exercise and the continued renewing of our minds is essential to mom health. Taking a walk with some moms while our children have dance class, trading the mocha latte for water and reading a book instead of watching TV are great alternatives.

Learning to enjoy my children is significant. I didn't always enjoy my kids. I had to surrender to motherhood. But changing my perspective from seeing my children as my "work" to acknowledging that my children are my "recreation reminders" has been an incredible blessing to me.

My best refueling comes when I remember to connect with God. I have to be flexible to his plans instead of my own. Ongoing growth and intentional care for my body, mind and spirit fill my mom tank. Then I'm ready for whatever life has in store.

Barb Vogelgesang is a busy mom of four active children. She sees mothering as an exciting adventure because she's never sure what's going to happen next. A popular retreat speaker and MOPS Area Coordinator, Barb loves encouraging and inspiring moms. Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/MOMSense magazine. May/June 2007, Vol. 10, No. 3, Page 14

Say THANKS to our troops!

2007-08-06T13:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a cool link where you can send a postcard to someone in the military. Let's Say Thanks

Click here for FAQ about this website.

I thought this was a pretty cool idea! This would really be a great way to have your kids send something, teaching them a valuable lesson in taking the time to show your appreciation for someone. Of course, it's not just for kids. I think the more cards that get sent the better!!!!

Breastfeeding Awareness

2007-08-02T16:19:00.000-07:00

Governor Jennifer Granholm has declared August as Breastfeeding Awareness Month in Michigan. On a grander scale, communities around the world will celebrate World Breastfeeding Week from August 1 - August 7.

Linda Wieser writes the following, with, as you would expect, my own comments added:

...if, as a society, we are promoting good health, we need to promote and support breastfeeding. Human babies are born with very immature immune systems and depend on their mother's milk to provide them with the immune factors they need to fight infection. In fact, half the ingredients in breast milk are food for the baby's growth and development, and the other half are immune factors! It's like food and vaccine all in one package. That's why babies who do not breastfeed have a higher risk of ear infections, respiratory tract infections, diarrhea, bacterial meningitis, and urinary tract infections.
I suggest that, this August, all of us take a minute to decide how we can support breastfeeding families. If we know pregnant women, we can share with them the risks of not breastfeeding so they can make an informed choice. (edited by yours truly to add: Then again, let's not get preachy considering there are situations such as adoption where breastfeeding is not a viable option...) In public businesses, we can welcome breastfeeding mothers to feed their babies whenever they are hungry. (edited once again to add: Specifically, we'd like a clean, private place where the more modest of us can nurse without feeling like a side show!!!) If we are employers, we can support our employees by providing a private space and sufficient breaks to breastfeed or pump. We will not be doing this because it's the latest fad, but because supporting and protecting breastfeeding is the healthy choice for the child, mother, and society.

I'm a Little Confused

2007-08-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

In April of 2004, President Bush signed "Unborn Victims of Violence Act" into law. This was also known as "Laci and Connor's Law" due to the highly publicized trial of Scott Peterson. This law makes it a separate and additional crime to kill an unborn child. Of course, there is an exemption in the law for the mother that gets an abortion. After all, it's a crime if someone else does it, but the mother has the right to choose. As if this isn't ridiculous enough, there is a new kink. Check out this grisly story from Ocean City, MD where the remains of four pre-term infants have been found on this woman's property.

I found this part of another article on the same story especially interesting:

State Delegate Susan K. McComas, a Republican who co-sponsored the 2005 bill, said the exemption was added by majority Democrats who feared the bill would restrict a woman's right to abortion. "We weren't contemplating a woman doing something to her own fetus," McComas said.

Prosecutors and police concede it could take months to sort out all the physical evidence and determine what charges, if any, may be appropriate for Freeman if the three sets of older remains found in her home and Winnebago belonged to her."It may turn into a war of experts, with the prosecution experts saying the fetus was viable and the defense experts saying the fetus was not viable, or it's impossible to know whether the fetus was viable," said Baltimore attorney Andrew D. Levy.

Another article states:

The timing is critical. If the pre-term infants were too young to be considered viable outside the womb, Freeman can't be charged with murder. And if they died before Maryland passed its 2005 fetal homicide law, it may not be a crime even if they were old enough to live outside the womb and Freeman caused their deaths.
The fetal homicide law was designed to penalize those who kill a pregnant woman or her viable fetus, but it includes a provision shielding pregnant women from prosecution for actions that result in the death of their own fetuses.

Basically, if they can prove that the four babies, assuming they are her babies, found on this woman's property were "not viable," (how on earth are they going to prove that?!?!?) this woman will walk because of the provision in the law protecting the mother from prosecution if she kills her own unborn baby. As long as the baby is killed before it can survive outside the womb, this law does not apply. How twisted is this?

Welcome! Now, about that title...

2007-08-01T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hee, hee. I get a lot of "Nice blog, but what's up with that title!??!" It's based on the phrase, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." This feminist slogan is often attributed to the esteemed leader in the feminist movement, Gloria Steinem. She actually heard the phrase from Irina Dunn, who, ironically, says she based it on another saying, "Man needs God like a fish needs a bicycle." Aside from illustrating that feminists lack the ability to form a creative or original thought, I believe both sayings have led many a man and woman into a life of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment. This fish needs her bicycle, whether in reference to my God or to my man. Beyond needing them, my entire life purpose is wrapped up in my relationship with them and their love for me.

So that's it. Hope that clears up the confusion. Oh, and welcome!! ;0)