Church and the Younger Generation

I came across an article citing a survey that states 70% of kids raised in church will "drop out" (their words, not mine) by the age of 23. The most frequently cited reasons for leaving came as no surprise to me:

"Church members are too judgemental"
"Church members are too hypocritical"
"I just don't relate with or connect to the people at church." (This is either in reference to the members or the pastor.)

Well, let me tell you after being raised in church since I was a baby, the first two answers are, regrettably, very true. There are a lot of hypocrites, and there are a lot of people who wear religion like some kind of badge so they can feel better about themselves and look down on others. I've dealt with these kind of people my whole life, and even if you are not a church-goer I can assure you they get on my nerves as badly as yours!!! So, why do I choose to raise my kids in church? Why do I continue to go in spite of all the stories I could tell about what "really goes on"? First of all, I have been very fortunate to have met up with some truly genuine Christians. I'm not talking about the people who feel they have to cram their views down everyone's throat (and in the process make some of their victims so bitter toward God they actually prevent them from finding God). I'm talking about people who are compassionate, loving, patient, and REAL. Their faith is real, their relationship with God is real, and they have a calm, contented air about them instead of that bizarre angry intensity that too many people mistake for religious zeal. Sadly, these types of Christians are rare gems, and in all the Christians I've known they are a very small majority. So, why don't I get discouraged with the larger group of fake, judgmental, arrogant, mean and critical group of so-called Christians? Simple. I'm not there for the people. My relationship with God is based on my PERSONAL experiences with Him, which are very real to me. (Can you tell I like to deal with reality? Ironic, since we're talking about matters of faith, but I digress...) Although I haven't always liked what He chooses for my life, I can honestly say, "God is no hypocrite!" God is the one constant in my life, and I separate Christians and their human flaws from God and His perfection. I do not expect perfection from someone simply because they claim to be a Christian, so since my faith is not in people, my faith is not shaken when people fall. Oh trust me, I get discouraged. I get mad. I get disgusted with things that go on. But none of that compares to the joy and peace I have in my faith and relationship with God. I couldn't possibly throw it all away because some people who claim to be Christians act like a pompous windbag or a devious fraud. You think you have some big scoop on someone who claimed to be a Christian, and yet they________________ ? Listen to me, honey, I could fill a big, fat juicy expose' book with all kinds of stories like that. It's not that I'm so great and spiritual that I am able to rise above this. Quite the contrary. God's faith is made perfect in my weakness. It is my very dependence on Him that causes me to cling to Him even harder when other Christians do things that are very un-Christlike. I believe the Bible is true. I believe Christ is the only way to Heaven after we die, and the only way to a fulfilled life before we die. I have chosen to spend my life getting to know more about the Lord and getting closer to Him, and doing all I can to make Him known to others through my life. And, frankly, I believe that I cannot do this without being actively involved in a local church so that I can be part of a greater outreach both in my local community and throughout the world through missions. After all, isn't that our whole purpose here? If we choose to worship God on our own terms instead of His, if we are honest, we find that in fact we are just cutting ourselves off from people so they can't hurt us... and in the process cutting ourselves off from being able to minister to others. Please don't think I look down on those who have chosen not to attend church. Everyone makes their own choices, and I am not responsible for your choices any more than you are responsible for mine. If your mind is made up, I'm not trying to judge you. This post is more to reach out to those who have been hurt by "Christians," who feel like Christianity is all just a big scam and not worth the effort, or who think living the Christian life is more trouble than it's worth. Please believe me. All Christians do not fit the negative stereotype. I'll admit, many of them do, some even unintentionally, but really the best advice I can give is: stop looking at Christians. They will disappoint you. Look at Christ, and all He has done. My sister and I were joking about this one day and she said, "People who have a bad experience in church say they will never go to church again, but if they have a bad experience in a restaurant do they say they'll never eat out again?" I'll admit, it takes a lot of effort to find a church that's a good "fit" for your family, and certainly no church is going to be perfect. But in the long run, it's worth the effort!

It's Time to GIVE!!!

This is the season we should really have our thoughts focused on giving. Hopefully, this goes beyond hitting the malls and racking up HUGE credit card balances purchasing more junk for people who don't need it. I'm talking about giving to those truly in need! My daughter absolutely loves when the Salvation Army bell ringers start their seasonal donation drive. For those of you who complain about the noise, avert your eyes and rush in quickly to avoid them - SHAME ON YOU!!! Grab a handful of change out of your car ashtray, let your kids learn to have a compassionate, charitable spirit, and for Pete's sake smile at the bell ringer and wish them a Merry Christmas. We were at Wal-mart last week, and Elianna asked if she could ring the bell. The lady handed it to her, and Elianna would run up to people and shake it at them like she was mugging them. (I think she broke a donation record for that three minutes!)


Other ideas for keeping our focus on the right kind of giving this season:


Go through your children's toys, and donate (or throw away, depending on their condition) at least 1/3 of them. You will get at least that much for Christmas anyway, so now is the time to get that playroom or toy area cleaned out. If it's out-of-date, broken, ignored, etc... don't hang on to it. Children are actually happier with fewer toys and an organized space than with overwhelming piles of toys stacked up everywhere. Keep it simple, and teach your child to be unselfish.


Grab a box or bag, label it "Donations," and leave it somewhere accessible. As you go about your daily routine, toss everything into it you can do without. Go through your closets and get rid of that outfit you will never fit into again, isn't the right color for you, never fit right anyway, or that you have worn too many times and has seen better days. Get rid of those extra things in your cupboards that take up room, even though you haven't used them for 4 years. You keep telling yourself, "But I just might need them!" Well, if you do, borrow one from someone else. Throw yours in the box to donate!! Again, after the holidays you will have more useless junk, so now is the time to purge. Take the box out to your vehicle, and next time you are out running errands drop it off at your favorite charity. Or, even easier, call Purple Heart or Salvation Army and they will drive to your house and pick it up for you! How much easier can they make it?!?! Don't forget to get an estimate of the value so you can write it off on your taxes. You have till the end of this year to claim your donation, so do it now!!

**Click here for a link that will give you a value estimate on your donations. Most people grossly underestimate the value of their donations, so make sure you get a fair estimate so you can pay a few dollars less at tax time.**

Get involved in one of those "sponsor a child's Christmas" programs. Many churches offer these, and you can either buy gifts for a specific child or for a children's group home. At our church, you can get a child's picture with their name, age, clothing sizes, and favorite color. These are children living in homeless shelters, and often they do not have families or families with the means to get them Christmas gifts. We are sponsoring a 6-year-old boy this year, and Elianna is so excited to go shopping and pick him out a new, warm winter coat, and some pajamas. We will wrap it up, put his name on it, and on Christmas while many spoiled children gripe and complain about not getting exactly what they want, that little boy will be grateful to have something warm (and new) to wear.

It is a scientifically proven fact: People who hoard things and have junk stashed all over are actually more selfish than people who are willing to let things go! This is ironic to me, since the people with stashes seem to have more to give. In fact, there is a higher depression rate among people who do not give to any charitable cause, and a low depression rate among people who give everything away! (I am trying to find the article I read about this - I'll post it if I find it.) So, keep your spirits up and GIVE GIVE GIVE stuff away this Christmas!! I promise you'll feel so good if you do.

Look out, here comes FLYLady!!!

Am I the only woman that ever worked full time (and then some) who looked at stay-at-home moms and wondered how clean and organized your house would be if you had ALL that free time? I could not understand why any mom who didn't work outside the home ever was stressed or crunched for time. I mean, what else do you have to do!?!?

Yeah, right. Once I actually became a stay-at-home mom, my perspective changed dramatically. (Isn't that the way it usually happens?) Now that my house was actually in use all day, it actually seemed to be getting worse, not better! My standards crept lower as the laundry piled higher, and my frustration mounted with every passing cobweb. I tried valiantly to find the balance between spending your whole day cleaning, thus creating a museum-like showplace of domestic harmony, or shoveling a path through the clutter and spending the entire day splashing in finger paint and watching DVDs of Little Bear with my girls. I mean, is it morally wrong that those tasty crunchy treats my kids are munching on for their mid-morning snack are actually dried up pasta shells from yesterday's lunch that they scratched off the floor? There are starving kids in some faraway continent that would be grateful for our shriveled peas and brown apple slices. Well, all of that is changing now - I have found a new website that has helped me to get organized and stay on top of my housework. I am really loving this website!! You would not believe all I am getting done!!! Even the top of my fridge is shiny and clean. Granted, I am picking and choosing to some extent, but overall this is a GREAT program. You all know how I DETEST housework, but I detest clutter even more. So I was ending up very conflicted and generally agitated about my house. This system really works - Check it out!!

FlyLady.net

Support Sears, Support our troops!

I am copying an e-mail I received, and everything italicized is from the e-mail, not my own words.. From what I have been able to research, this is true. If you know anything otherwise, please let me know!!!

I know I needed this reminder since Sears isn't always my first choice. Amazing when you think of how long the war has lasted and they haven't withdrawn from their commitment. Could we each buy at least one thing at Sears this year? How does Sears treat its employees who are called up for military duty? By law, they are required to hold their jobs open and available, but nothing more. Usually, people take a big pay cut and lose benefits as a result of being called up. Sears is voluntarily paying the difference in salaries and maintaining all benefits, including medical insurance and bonus programs, for all called up reservist employees for up to two years. I submit that Sears is an exemplary corporate citizen and should be recognized for its contribution. I suggest we all shop at Sears, and be sure to find a manager to tell them why we are there so the company gets the positive reinforcement it well deserves. Pass it on.

Decided to check this before I sent it forward. So I sent the following e-mail to the Sears Customer Service Department:

I received this e-mail and I would like to know if it is true. If it is, the Internet may have just become one very good source of advertisement for your company. I know I would go out of my way to buy products from Sears instead of another store for a like item, even if it's cheaper at that store.

This is their answer to my e-mail:

Dear Customer:Thank you for contacting Sears.The information is factual. We appreciate your positive feedback.Sears regards service to our country as one of greatest sacrifices our young men and women can make. We are happy to do our part to lessen the burden they bear at this time.
Bill Thorn
Sears Customer Care
http://us.f815.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=webcenter@sears.com
1-800-349 -4358

Please pass this on to all your friends. Sears needs to be recognized for this outstanding contribution and we need to show them as Americans, we do appreciate what they are doing for our military!!!

It's Verified ! By Snopes.com at: http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/sears.asp
(shows the entire article)

Men Can Scrapbook, too!!

For all you scrapbookers and/or greeting card makers... Did you ever wish your man would get involved in your creations with you? Yeah, me neither. But here is a great tutorial video by a man, for men who want to make a greeting card for their sweetheart.

Garage Made Greeting Card

The Family Team

Our speaker at MOPS this week was Melissa Robertson, and I was just so encouraged and inspired by her. She is one of those sweet women that makes you feel instantly as though you've known her for years. As a home-schooling mother of five, she definitely has her hands full! But she knows how to roll with the punches, pick her battles, and most importantly keep God and His principles first in her life. I really enjoyed her topic, and she gave me permission to share it here with you. I am writing this based on the notes I took, so it is not what she said verbatim. It's a re-telling, not a transcript! ;0) Hope you are as blessed as I was.

The Family Team

Here are some tips to help your family work together as a team. Mrs. Robertson used the analogy of a sports team to represent how a family can defeat opposition and become victorious.

1. Identify your true opponent.
It's always embarrassing when you score a point for your opponent, yet that is exactly what we do as a family when we attack each other. As frustrated as we may get with our children or spouse, we must realize that life should not be a daily battle with them! We must recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses, and learn how to work with them. Don't try to mold them into who you WANT them to be, but be willing to work with each other as you all strive to be what GOD wants you to be.
Your opponent is not other Christians. Women especially have the tendency to feel competitive with other moms, and you try to out-do each other in various areas. Who's the better cook? Who has the higher dress standards? Who has the nicest/cleanest home? Whose children are the smartest or most popular? Again, fighting other families simply scores points for our true opponent and weakens our team. Let your children hear you praise others instead of bragging or criticizing, and this will instill a sweet, humble spirit in your own child. Try to exhort and encourage other moms instead of competing with them. Overall, remember that the Devil is the true enemy of our families, and he is the one we want to score against.

2. Follow the right playbook.
A Christian family must acknowledge the Bible as the ultimate and final authority. Beware of adding or subtracting from this, as this will be a stumbling block to your children and may in fact make them more likely to rebel. Define your family with Biblical principles, not society's ideals. Seek out Bible-based resources such as devotional helps. (Mrs. Robertson recommends "Our 24 Family Ways" by Clay Clarkson. It is a devotional guide for the family, and even has coloring pages that illustrate the different concepts for the younger children.) Reading the Bible can be tedious and overwhelming for children, so put the effort into finding materials that will bring God's Word to their level of understanding. The better they understand the rules of the game, the better they will be able to play. Not to mention, making devotions fun for them will make them more likely to stick with it as they get older and into adulthood. Also, keep the basic rules of the house simple, and make sure you have Bible to back up these rules (even if only in principle).

3. Know your position and play it as well as you can.
Dad is the coach, and Mom is the captain. Dad makes the plays and does the research, and Mom makes it all happen in day-to-day life. It goes without saying that Mom has lots of input into Dad's decisions, but beware of trying to have two coaches! Assign your kids duties, and make them stay faithful even when the novelty wears off. Your child will not be productive at first, and in fact it will be easier for you NOT to invest the time in teaching them. (How many times have I been tempted to push her aside and say "Oh never mind! Let me do it myself!") In the long run, though, you do your child a terrible disservice by catering to him/her and not teaching him valuable skills. Instill a Godly work ethic early on, and this will build the right kind of self-esteem in your child, based on something he/she can actually accomplish. Give them something to do, make them learn to do it well, and then they will have something to be legitimately proud of. Try to make it a point to work alongside your child. A child will feel resentful and overwhelmed of you pile duties on him then kick back and read a book. Working together will actually build a love for work in them, since they will cherish the time spent with you. There are exceptions and use some common sense here, but a good general rule is "When you are working, your child is working. Rest and play together." It may be an inconvenience at first, but taking the time and effort to help your child develop skills and use talents will pay off for both of you. You will gain valuable help as their skills improve, and they will gain confidence as they see that they are able to make meaningful contributions.

4. Build Team Spirit
Take time to practice together as much as possible. The more time a team spends together, the better they know each other and the better they will play together. Make the time to have a regular "family night," and take the time to have meaningful conversations with your children throughout the day. Capitalize on "teachable moments," and remember that your team will all outgrow your league soon enough. Then there will be plenty of time to clean up the arena! ;0) Attend church regularly, since this is where your team will study and learn the "playbook" and continue to grow to be better "team players." Network with other Christian families, since they will become your team's cheerleaders, giving you the boost you need when your team gets in a slump. (And we moms know it's no fun being in a losing streak!) When choosing a ministry within your local church, make sure it is not something that your children will have to compete with for your attention. Make it something that you all can benefit from and serve in together, even if in different capacities. You will win more games if you play together as a team as opposed to every member off helping other teams and neglecting their own.

5. Evaluate your definition of victory.
What truly defines a victorious team? What makes a family a real success in God's eyes? Society will tell you this is based on academic achievements, wealth, popularity, or visible talents. Some families are just happy if their children acknowledge Christianity, maybe say a prayer and call themselves "saved." The Bible, however, defines a successful family team as one that produces not only "good" kids, but truly Godly kids. Children who go on to complete the work began in their lives, giving God complete control over their lives, giving the Bible complete authority in their lives, and allowing God to use them in whatever way He has planned for them. Producing a team that brings glory to its "Owner and Creator" is something we as moms especially will spend the majority of our lives striving for, but we find our strength and inspiration every time we are able to score a point against our opponent and see our children slowly come not only to a realization of Christ, but develop a very real and personal relationship with Him.

It's Business Time

*This video has a more mature theme, just to warn you. It is not appropriate for young viewers.*

I hope I don't offend you with this video, and I am trying to give fair warning. Although I think it is tasteful, it is about the topic of sex so it is only for my married readers! ;0) I have to admit, when I watched this video at Jess's blog, and I laughed so hard I cried. The funniest parts are the ones that are (gasp) true! (Particularly wearing the ugly baggy T-shirt and the tripping over the jeans. Ahem, had both of those happen!) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did... and may we all aspire to never let our love life sink to this level!